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      The hole in my heart

     



I met my first love last year. We were friends for a long time. The problem was he was 3,000 miles away. I didn't care, It didn't stop the fact that I was falling in love with him. He felt the same about me. He's the best person I know, and he fell in love with me. I thought to myself, what is so special about me to have someone like him like me, let alone love me. He called me every night, we were still friends at the time.


Until one special night he told me he loved me and he asked me to be his girlfriend. That was the happiest night of my life. We were together for 2 wonderful months, I admit there was some pretty stupid fights, and a lot of tears from me and him. We made it through though. December came, it was the 31st, and we broke up for the 1st time. He had a girlfriend already while I was still heartbroken, but a few weeks later... We were together again, and I was so happy. But then things started to get a little rough. We were on and off. Until one day in April.


He permanantly broke up. It's June now, and I'm still heartbroken. I love him to this day. He has a girlfriend, and he's happy. I am happy for him too, I want him to be happy and have a girl that he loves. I am still waiting for someone. I will always love Mike though, he came to me in a point in my life where I needed someone, and god did a great job of matching us up. There is a big hole in my heart though, It hurts so much sometimes I can't breath. But I go to school, I hang out with my friends, and sometimes I feel great, but nothing can replace him. He was my world and everything came crashing down. But we're very good friends now. But sometimes I just want to tell him "I love you, we can work it out, Just give me another chance, You're everything to me". But I know he's happy, and that's good. I'd rather see him happy with someone else, then sad with me. I will always remember the night where he said "I love you more then all the words in all the books in all the world" .! ..His father used to say that to him. I will always have the hope of another chance with Mike. It's what helps me get through some days. I love him with everything I have.


The heartache I'm going through is something I have never experienced. I will never love anyone the way I loved Mike... His name is still in my locker, and I look at his pictures and think of how much I miss him. It hurts me, but someday I pray to god that he'll be the last face I see at night, and the first one when I get up in the morning.

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