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      My `BJ`


I was a sweet, simple, innocent small -town girl of 16. Everyone knew everything about everyone, and their grandparents. I was waiting on the front school lawn, first day of school after a long, dry summer, with my circle of friends, when I saw him, a mysterious stranger, tall, slim, blonde hair. I was instantly mesmerized.

It didn't take me long to find out about him. He was an exchange student from Sweden, 18, named Bjorn. We quickly became friends, and I found him to be the most intelligent, happy, beautiful thing I'd ever seen. His bright blue eyes would dance every time he looked at me, melting everything within me. We spent one year together, laughing, learning, loving. I taught him about my life, and he taught me how to love. He went home June 20, 1987, and I cried for a year. He begged me to come visit, but my father forbade it. Well, time passes so quickly, I eventually married a good man and have 2 precious children.

I called BJ one year ago today, and his voice stirred such emotions, it was almost unbearable. I thought my heart and head would explode. He has never married, but he still had the final letter I wrote to him (from 1991), stating that we needed to move on with our lives (as if that were possible), and he should not contact me again. I nearly died when he said he was here in 1996 and didn't contact me because of that letter. I know that we will see one another again someday, my life would not be complete otherwise. There has not been a day in 15 years that I haven't thought of him, though part of me would be grateful if that day were to come.

I cannot tell anyone of my obsessive desire for this man, and no one here has heard me speak his name in many years. I have the perfect life, the "American Dream," and I love my husband of 13 years. But I gave my heart away years ago, and I've finally accepted the fact that BJ will own it until it beats no more.


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