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      Trusted, loved and lost

     



I met a man and fell in love within a 2 week period of knowing him. I fell in love with how we were so comfortable with each other and how we could talk about anything and be so honest with each other.


He had all the standards I was looking for, honesty, mutual attraction, responsible, sense of humour, kindness and sincerity. It felt so real and felt so right. He moved in with me and he said he was never moving again. 8 months later, he moved out. Said he moved too fast and needed time and space. I found out that for the last two months he had been pursuing a stripper and caught her.


They moved in together, two weeks later he left me. I was devastated. Had clinical depression for the first time in my life. I'm 39. I had been divorced 8 years and thought this was going to be the last man I'd ever be with in my life. 10 months later I still cry over my loss, it still hurts so deep.


I told him what scum he was and then forgave him several months ago via a letter. He has never once contacted me to say he was sorry, or anything, it's as if he just hates me now and that is what hurts so bad.


My divorce ended with hatred and I didn't want this to end with hatred. But, it has and that is killing me. I will never be able to trust love again. He pretended to love me and I fell, hook, line and sinker.


I honestly don't see me ever in a serious relationship again and then I also can't have a meaningless relationship so I'm pretty much stuck alone for a long time.

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