I am sure my story is no different than anybody elseís. We all are hurting, that is why we are searching the internet for some form of comfort and answers.
I took a chance two and a half years ago and called M.C. who was separated from her husband who was also a friend of mine. I called because I was lonely and I knew their situation.( He was cheating on M.C.). When I called her, she had just got off the phone with her soon to be ex. He had told her he did not want to save the marriage and that he wanted a divorce. We were friends for over three months, just casual. But there was a tension starting to build. Finally, nature or lust took over. Our dating got more involved.
We found her a house nearby the small town were we live and we became even closer. Unfortunately, never in those two and half years did we talk about our feelings or directions we were looking for. I should mention that I am almost ten years younger then M.C. I will be 40 in August and have never been married. M.C. had married twice and they were not good marriages. Adultery and abuse. She once tried to break it off with me, I had accepted that because I had not yet let my feelings get the better of me. But the break-up only lasted a day. She was more upset then I was.
She wrote me a letter and I wrote back. We told each other about past break-ups and how much we had been hurt. I was and still am gun shy from my last heartache, thatís why it has been easy for me to build my walls. I always thought, be the first to get out of any relationship, you won't get hurt then. Well just before Halloween I wrote M.C. a letter telling her that I was starting to get some very strong feelings and told her that I Loved Her. She called and she thought it was time we talked.
KA-BAAM!!!! By the time I regained my composure I realized that something very important in my life had just tried 'not' to hurt me and was pulling out of my driveway. But it did not work. You guessed it, I'm Hurt!
M.C. tells me she does love me, But needs her freedom. She feels that her life has gone from bad marriage, to bad marriage, to me. She feels she needs to be on her own. O.K. I understand that, but I am having a Hell of a time accepting it. I told her that I wanted to be everything she felt she did not have in her last relationship. I knew then that I was in deep S___! We talked a couple of times since that Thursday, she gave some kind of closure that I was looking for. We both had a lot of outpouring of emotion. We have not talked in over a week, which is good. And we will probably not talk for a week or two with Thanksgiving coming up. M.C. is in Fl. with friends like she has always done. And I will be busy also. I try and think of two things through all of this. If you truly love something, let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be. And give each other the time and space we need at this time. I suppose if I really felt like that I would not be balling my eyes out for M.C. every time I am by myself.
I went to bed last night and said, (Good by M.C.) And then I pretended she was there and said, (Good by Dan.) I started balling. If this wasn't so gut wrenching for me I might be able to make a few bucks off of this. I've got tears right now. Damn, I might have a future writing Love Stories.
I know there are a lot of us out there from both sides of the fence. But do we always have to feel like we've just been drawn and quartered. I don't have my own computer and I don't have e-mail, so it will be very hard for me to receive any thoughts on this. I will check in on the message board and see if there are any thoughts for the rebound story.
Thank you for listening.