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      Puppy heart broken


Ever since we did that play together, I knew that I would always love this guy. Maybe it was mere infatuation at the time, but now, I know better.

You know those summer days that you spend looking into your lovers beautiful eyes and running your fingers over his smooth skin? That's how it was acting as his wife in the play. I felt like he was my soul mate, my one and only. But he viewed me as his sex toy. The innocent virgin, who he felt it was his mission to 'de-flower' at all costs. I was prey to his vicious ways and unknowingly I was apart of his silly game.

He began to call me and send me pictures online. We would stay on the phone for hours sharing our deepest darkest secrets (or so I thought) and every night I had something to look forward to, the sound of his voice putting me to a peaceful sleep. Then he hit me with the inevitable. He had a girlfriend. Immediately my heart stopped pumping and turned icy cold and it is still like that to this day. No guy can get in there, not through the barbed wire and electric fence that I have put around it. My only regret is that it had to end. Why doesn't love ever seem to love me back? Recently, he has called me and even though I still love him, probably more than before, I know that it would never work out between us. He thinks that I don't trust him and he is absolutely right.

I deserve better because I am worth it, but boy do I wish I could trust him and let go of the painful memories that he has planted in my mind.


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