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I thought that by now I would be used to the feeling of hopelessness. I grew up thinking that anything I wanted I could have if I worked hard enough. But that isn't true for love.
It's been ten years since I first met this wonderful man, a boy back then in 9th grade. He was the guy that made me nervous every time I saw him coming down the hall. He was the one that motivated me to push myself beyond my limits. He was the one I called when I had a wonderful or horrible day. But that's all it was.
Here I am all these years later and it hasn't changed. I still get nervous when he flies into town and picks me up to go out. He's still the one that gives me confidence when I've given up. And thank God I he's still there when I need someone to talk to after a long day. And that's still, all it is.
Everyday I wonder why we can't just try to make it more than that. What can be worse than not knowing what could be? I wake up every morning promising myself that I'll give up hope, but I go to bed every night praying that I don't. I'll always love him more than he'll ever know; I just hope he feels the same. I know there are obstacles in our way right now and I hope these are the things keeping us apart, but hopefully one day we'll both have the courage to move past them and give it a chance.