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      Wondering how to say goodbye


I met a man almost 5 years ago and we lived apart for 4 1/2 years. We have been through everything. He decided to move back to the area after being gone 8 years and I found him a job. We had been talking marriage and so I let him move in with me and about a month went by and we went on a trip to Daytona and he paid for everything but when we got back and a week later he told me we were not made for one another and I am unorganised.

I am a single mom and live in a very small 2 bedroom apartment and also am a college student. Well this hurt and I was in the process of healing and he called. Now we see each other maybe twice a week and spend the weekends together. There is one catch though he will not show any kind of anything in front of his friends. We have an awesome time when we are together. I have not tried talking to him only because I am afraid he will run. I know this is stupid and yes I am smarter than that. I just don't understand. I do know there has been no one else. I have decided though he will run again soon and I don't want to love another.

There are so many games and I don't like that and it messes with my head. It also takes forever to heal when this happens. I have been through so much, flood, fire, divorce and soon to have surgery on my knee. I am very independent and I have no family where I live. So I guess at this point I am wondering how to say goodbye.


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