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      My futile love


The man I fell in love was a close friend of my father.

He was around thirty five and I was about seventeen. He was very friendly with my dad and used to visit us often. He was tall, handsome and sophisticated. I knew he was married but as his wife was sick most of the time I hardly met her except for Christmas and new years. Whenever he dropped in I would try to be as close to him as possible and watch him. I could never seem to get over his strong masculine smell. He would tease me and joke a lot but never ever showed his interest in me.

Although I knew he was married I could not get him out of my mind and found all other guys shallow and callow. One evening I was returning back to my college hostel when he had called on my parents. He offered to drive me back home and I agreed. It was quite dark when we left and I was overwhelmed with emotion as I breathed in his strong masculine profile and I was tongue-tied most of the journey and answered in monosyllables. He began to ask me about college life and if I had any boyfriends. I told him that I was in love with someone but that person was not in love with me. He could not believe that there was someone in this world who was immune to my charms. I coyly asked him if he was also immune to my looks. Imagine my surprise when he confessed his love for me. I began to cry and sobbed out my feelings for him. We kissed and embraced each other and that night I slept with him and we made love the whole night. However in spite of the fact that we had a passionate affair right until I finished college I realised that he would never leave his wife for me. We broke up shortly afterwards but I still wait for him hoping that someday he will be free to marry me.


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