February 23, 2003... I let my pride, allow me to let the love of my life for 2 years, drive right out of my life.
I haven't seen him since.
Now I sit in my day to day life wondering how I could have let that happen to "us". We were going to spend the rest of our lives together, but I got impatient and angry, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. We were having some hard times, but who doesn't? He wasn't the one who initiated the break-up... it was all me. I am the one to blame.
He was my life. He was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. He made me happy, content and complete. After 2 years, I still got butterflies in my stomach when he walked into a room. He was handsome, successful, everything a woman was looking for... and he loved me. He treated me like a queen, taking me to wonderful places, showing me beautiful things, teaching me all there was to learn, and making sure I had the nicest of everything. He took me as a young lady, naive to the world, and turned me into a respected, loved and admired business woman. He saved me. He did all of this for me... and I was so unappreciative that I guess it didn't matter enough not to lose him. I thought there were many men out there just like him... well, I was wrong. It has been almost 5 months since I the last time I saw him. I have sent him many letters, poems, pleas of love, left messages with his secretary, and asked him to meet me, all to no avail. He wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore. Nothing I say or do can bring him back. He is gone forever.
I went from being a happy young woman, who was supposed to be married this July, to being totally alone, and realising just how special he really was... and unable to move on with my life. no one else compares to him... no one else even comes close. All of my happiness is tucked away in his crisp white button up shirt, closest to his heart. He carries it around with him everyday... and he doesn't even know it. I felt like everything when I was with him... he made me feel important, smart & loved. I feel like nothing now. If I could ever have one more chance with me, I would be everything he ever needed and wanted, and love him unconditionally, and always be there for him, and never let him go again. I should have never let him go, the day he hugged me good-bye. Thanks "Pride"... where are you now?
The moral of my story is to really listen to your heart... before you tell someone good-bye and let them get away. Because sometimes, that good-bye may be your last, and the only time a good-bye hurts... is when you know you will never say hello again.
*Jake*, I love you with all I have in me. I am so sorry I let this happen to us. I will always love you. *Jules*