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      She`s all I ever wanted

     



It began about a year ago. I was pretty much going through the motions of everyday life. Then. It hit. I met a girl. A woman I should say. She seemed to float in on a cloud, and squeeze her breast right past me. I was awe struck the moment I saw her. We began to speak, and I knew something new, and exciting was going to happen. We started slowly. Spending more and more time together each and every day. Her name said it all. Carma. A name so beautiful, but in no way compared to her itself. We made plans together, and everything seemed to be clicking all at once. But something held me back. I wasn't sure what it was at first. Was I still scared from my last "incident"? Was I petrified at the thought of opening up to another one? Yes I was. The latest lady to capture my attention informed me of her attraction to the opposite sex a few weeks after we had me. So, needless to say, I was sceptical to open up to another. But she was so perfect in so many ways. I had to give love another try. So on we went. Day after day, month after month. Never speaking of our attraction, I only dreamt of our first touch. Just the mere thought of holding her next to me, sent chills up my spine. I had to say something, but what. What could I say? What should I say? So on, and on we went. Time had no meaning, I was caught in loves web again. And I basked in loves arms. I was in heaven. Or was I? The night finally came. I was invited to her college graduation party. Almost a year after we had met.


I gathered my thoughts, summoned up the courage, and was ready to take loves leap. The evening was perfect. Friends gathered. Her family there to share in her success. I thought to myself "this is my chance". But, I froze. Something held me back. Was it the fact that my heart had been broken so many times before? Perhaps. Was it the fact that everything just seemed to perfect. Perhaps. I spent the night with her and her friends, and just felt the joy of being next to her. That was enough for me. I thought. Through out the evening her good friend would not leave my side. It seemed as though she was more into me than she was. I was confused, and had no idea what I was in for. I finally passed out (after numerous drinking games) and decided tonight would not be the night. I shall wait for loves door to open once more. But something just didn't fit. So that next day, in my undying wisdom, asked her of her friend. "I don't mean to sound egotistical" I said with utter fear in my eyes, "but I think your friend was digging' on me". So wrong was I. The next email I received was the one I never expected.....
Her words, in not so many, go as follows.


Uh, yeah, you weren't being over analytical at all. You were just off base a little. Yeah, my friend (who will remain nameless) she's not into you, she's into me. We have been going out for the last year and a half. Words can't paint the portrait of my expression that morning. I sunk into my computer chair, and had no idea how to react. Could it possibly be.......... The woman I had been wooing for the last 10 months, was in no way shape or form attracted to me. Not even my Gender for that matter.
This brings me to today. I sit here in front of you, and have no words to describe my utter shock. The last two woman I have fallen for, have already fallen. They speak of only their own sex, and somehow scream to me I am not wanted. Needless to say, the self-esteem has been shattered, and I now bow before you a broken man. I am not sure I can ever over again. And if I do, you can obviously know what my first query will be.

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