When I was 19 and pregnant and living with my mother and 2 sisters in Chandler, Arizona, I began to correspond with a man named Jeff, who had cerebral palsy and was hard of hearing he used pole crutches to get around. Jeff came to see me on Friday , November 24 , 1984.
I knew at that moment I was in love with him, when our eyes first met. Soon after returning to California, Jeff wrote to me, offering for me to come to California to live with him. I don't know why , but I turned him down. Maybe it was the thought of being separated from my family. For the last almost 19 years I have regretted turning away such a wonderful and loving man. My hope is that some day Jeff will read this and read the words that follow :
For 19 years Jeff , I have lived with the heartache of losing you, now the pain will not let me go and it is tearing me up inside. You were the true soulmate God had planned for me , and I just carelessly threw you away! I have constantly cut myself down for doing what I did and if God gave me a second chance to have you in my life I would take it without hesitation.
You are so hard to find Jeff, my mind and memory is so bad, that I cannot remember your last name, what is wrong with me??? I would have thought that you would see the many postings I have put on the internet, searching for you, the poet of my heart, but I hear nothing, only the silence of my lonely beating heart. Without you, I am nothing, if I cannot have you in my life, I feel there is nothing for me anymore. I have to find you, even if all I can do is have the chance to say I am sorry, I will live with that alone until maybe someday, I find you, I will pray for God to send me an angel who will lead me to you.
I NEED you, even after all these years " I Love You !!! " With all that I am!!! Please think of me, when you look at the stars at night, because when I look at the stars, I wonder where you are, and if you think of me !!!
If Anyone knows Jeff, and reads this, knowing this is the same person please help me. I need to find him!!!!