I met the man of my dreams at age 17, I was abused by my mother and needed to feel love in some form. When Steve told me that he loved me, I was gullible enough to believe him.
On our first date, he took me to meet his mother, which was a good sign. I believed him when he told me on the second and third date that that I was the only one in his life, I let this man make love to me and he knew that I was not on any form of birth control.
I'd been cautious and bought condoms with me just in case, I gave him the whole box so that he would never put me at risk. Little did I know he'd pricked holes in the condoms so that I would have his child.
I found out when I missed my first period. I told him and he laughed, then told me what he'd done, I had to move out of my mothers house because she'd always told me that I had to go if I got pregnant.
He knew that too. After he realized what a baby entailed, he decided that he was not the father and told everyone we knew, including my mother and his.
I had to move in with my sister and her husband, which I hated, my sister was infertile and could not have a child. I had a child that I now resented, I hated myself for thinking it.
I had my baby three months prematurely, he stayed in hospital for three months, Steve came to see him once, to see if it was his child. Of course it was...
I worked 12 hours a day and went to see my child who was 55 miles away, everyday. Steve lived less than 15 min. away and never came.
I had had it! I Joined the military and my son and I travelled and took care of each other for 12 years. I found someone else who I loved and I moved to New York to be with him, when I arrived here, I found that he had a little girl that he failed to mention.
I fell in love with her immediately, little did I know he and his ex were going for a custody battle. He informed me that I had to move out six months later, I had spent my life savings to move up here.
I was basically homeless and had to move in with a friend of his, she asked me to leave after I paid her 1100.00 a month to live with her, it seemed that her ex husband was interested in me.
I moved into a one room motel with a teenaged boy for almost a year. I finally saved enough to move into a two bedroom apt. and that is where we have been for the last four years, Larry, the second guy, is still in court with the custody case.
I have told him goodbye as well and I have once again resounded to live my life alone at the ripe old age of 34.
I don't understand, am I so hard to love? I need some advice.
Thank You for listening.