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      Cannot let go

     



Coming out of a bad relationship is very hard in fact that is why most of us stay in them! I on the other hand had prayed that God would send me a sign that I was better than the abuse that I was taking and that perhaps someone was out there who wanted to love me. Along comes Mr. Right, and I guess it's so hard to accept because he was in my face the whole time. So here the story goes of heartache to true love to once again my heart broke in a million pieces!!!!


There was this guy who was a cousin of one of my friends he was always saying things to her about us hooking up and wanting to take me out, now like I said at the beginning I was involved with a big time jerk. One day against my better judgement I decided to start hanging out with this guy. We had known each other since we were about six years old and had been quite close when we were younger but times had changed and we had grown apart. He was perfect, respectful, cute and funny. I began to fall in love with him. He helped me to realise that someone else could love me and that I didn't have to stay where I was. I left, we began seeing each other seriously and things were great.


All my friends and family were so happy for me, they said that I glowed with happiness. I did! Never had I felt this way in my life and then it happened, we began to have small problems, he was always flirting and talking to other women, maybe I was a little jealous but that's all caused by the previous relationship. We decided to take a break.


In the time that we were together I developed a very strong relationship with his family, mother and sisters especially. I was still hanging out with them once we separated. About 1 month later I got news that I was pregnant! I was so scared all I wanted to do was cry. I told him and he didn't want me to keep the baby. Against his wishes I did. My whole pregnancy we barely spoke, he tried to be involved here and there (usually sonogram times at the wishes of his family) and was still never disrespectful to me. He just didn't have time to stop living his life and having fun to help me deal with the new life that we had created. Scared that I wouldn't be able to provide for my baby I worked 9 months standing on my feet cutting hair and was sick the whole entire time, working 70 hours a week just to save as much money as I could. Time came and my beautiful little boy was born. This man was so supportive during the birth and the few short days afterward that I realised why I had fallen in love in the first place and all of those feelings where brought back. Since then he has not done much for either of us he comes in and out of our lives as he wishes, long enough to make both of us long for him to be there forever. I pray that one day he finds his way back to us we both love him very much and try to understand that he is young and is learning the hard way. Everyone thinks that I am crazy turning down man after man but I don't care I love him with all my heart and will wait forever :)

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