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      Still hurting... by choice?

     



I met him at a party when we were in college. We were going to the two elite rival schools in the city. He was being set-up with one of my friends but he fell in love with me the very moment he set his eyes on me. I, on the other hand, never even gave him a second look. He called me after a week and we started going out. He'd pick me up in school almost everyday, bring me flowers, we'd go out regularly, he'd visit me at home. He was a real boyfriend. He was so scared of losing me to the point that he turned away from his family (his mom hated me) and friends just to be with me.


I always got what I wanted during the 6 years that we were together. He broke up with me last year because he couldn't take the physical and verbal abuse anymore. I am admittedly a spoiled brat. When I lost him my world was shattered. I did everything to get him back... from begging to getting physical again and lastly, to lying. I told him I was pregnant. We got back together because of my lie. When the truth finally came out, we parted ways, the ugly way.


It has been 6 months and I'm still in love with him. I tried having a relationship with another guy but it didn't work out because I'm still in love with my former boyfriend.


I still see him regularly because we have the same set of friends. Recently, I saw him holding somebody else's hand and it felt like I was shot to death. It was so painful.


Please tell me what to do. I feel so alone. do I move out of that circle? this is my dilemma. I really enjoy their company.


Thanks so much for reading:)

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