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      How can I still care for him?

     



I guess my story starts like most. I met this guy that was 20 years old and I was 15.


He stopped me one day and asked if I would be his girlfriend, I was excited and happy. He was wonderful, called me all the time, took me to school, picked me up from school. My family liked him as well.


After a few months, we finally made love, my 1st time, I was truly in love with him. I thought the world revolved around him. We dated for 2 years, and he cheated several times and me being stupid, always forgave him, took him back.


After two years I got pregnant, 17 years old, senior in high school, he asked me to marry him, I did. I was happy, I graduated high school in June, 1989, got married the next day. Life was great I thought. We had a son in August of that year. The next year, we had a daughter. Little did I know he was still cheating again. Always someone new. I forgave him once again. 2 more years I had our 3rd child, another daughter, found out once again he was seeing someone else the whole time I was pregnant. I forgave again.


How dumb can one woman be? I guess I was queen of denial!


Our marriage went on like this for 10 years. He cheats I forgive, then one day he decided to walk out on his family. The other woman had money and could supply his wants. I was devastated but yet for some reason, I still love him. How can this be? He has hurt me more than anyone can imagine and I still want him and miss him so. What can I do to forget him? He is married again but he asked me to meet him so I did, and yes we made love again, and all those feelings came back. But he only wanted me to be the other woman this time. I can't live that life anymore.


(email address left at the request of the contributor)


If anyone knows how I can go on and let the past go please email me at gypsylady_29@yahoo.com.


Thanks for listening to my story!

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