I have been married for 2 1/2 years but have been with this man for almost 5 years. When I first met my husband he was the man of my dreams he cared about how I felt, he was romantic, he showed me what I meant to him with little things that mean nothing to some people but meant everything to me & he won the hearts of my kids and me both with his respect and consideration for us all. When I agreed to marry him his was still romantic but a few things had changed. Nothing to stop me from marrying him though. It seems like after saying I do everything has stopped completely.
He still says he loves me but never shows me anymore. Because of the shift he works we don't sleep in the same bed anymore and I am to the point where even though I am married I feel single. Even on his days off I still sleep alone because he either falls asleep in front of the TV or is on the computer all night. When he comes home from work all he wants to do it sit around and watch TV and I am not a TV person and he gets mad because I won't sit around all day with him and watch it.
The subject of romance recently came up and I told him I would like to see more romance in my life and he brought up that he made me a bubble bath not too long ago. Well when I said that was 7 months ago, he didn't have an answer. I have sent him cards through the mail just for the fun of it, I have wrote him I Love You notes and put them in his lunchbox plus I wrote I Love You with a big heart in the middle of the snow with food coloring but all this has yet to have a return gesture from him...Yes he said thank you on occasion but it seems like nothing I do will put that spark back into his body. I have brought this to his attention on numerous occasions but always get the same answer he is sorry and will change or he thinks I am making a joke to him.....In which I am not at all joking about how I am feeling and of course he never changes.
I am to a point in my life where I am so bored, lonely and depressed that I don't know how to get through to him without bringing the disappointment to myself.
Here is why I now wonder if I should stay and try to make my marriage work or walk away and make myself happy. I was contacted by a man that 12 years ago I would have married in a heartbeat if I was asked. But I moved away so we never really had the chance to tell our true feelings for one another. We had seen each other a couple of times and talked for hours when we did see each other but never really told each other how we felt. I Loved this man more than life itself and was crushed when I had to move away and soon we lost contact with each other.
Now 12 years later he is back in my life once again....it all started out innocent and on friendly terms but one thing led to another and I told him how I felt about him all those years ago....Well he in turn told me how he had felt and had always wondered how my life was going but he never tried to contact me because he thought I was happy and he didn't want to destroy that. He said that he never asked me to be with him because he thought I didn't feel the same about him and he couldn't live with the knowledge of that so he let it be. He said he was happy to have me in his life period and he didn't want to ruin that by acknowledging how he really felt. My feelings for him have never died and they seem so much stronger right now then they did back then. He has told me that me that he would like for us to get together if something was to happen between my husband and I. But he will not pressure me into doing anything. He said that he is happy with however he has me back in his life whether it be as a friend, lover, wife or girlfriend as long as we keep in contact. We haven't done anything together because we live 1000 miles apart he has just been there for me for the past year listening to me and telling me that he is there for me no matter what and reassuring me that things will work themselves out sooner or later.
This man is so wonderful and I know that I would be happy with him, I do love my husband but I don't know how to make him understand that I am very unhappy.....Should I end my marriage or try something different to make my marriage work????
I hope in the near future things do in fact work themselves out because I am so bored and disappointed with how my life is right now, I don't know how much more of it I can take without going crazy.