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      My luck


Near the end of my Sophomore year in High School, I met the "guy of my dreams", or so I thought.

At first we couldn't get enough of each other and I was convinced that he was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. He was perfect: blue eyes, blonde hair, muscles, and he seemed so very interested in *me*... I thought "wow, he has the whole package". He validated my whole existence and my world instantly revolved around him. After dating for only eight days, I naively gave him my virginity. I thought it would make our love official, so to speak, and that was the best I had to offer as a 16 year old girl. From the first time we spoke, I knew he was leaving for Michigan (850 miles from where I am in NC) for the summer, which was only two weeks away. So we promised to keep in touch and call occasionally, mainly communicating through letters and e-mails. This plan fell through. Sure, we kept in touch, but our main way of talking was over the phone. This was the first of our problems.

As time passed that summer, he began to drink excessively (since he was a 17 year old guy on his own for the summer living with his 21 year old brother and his friends). During the times that he was drunk, he would call me and talk for hours about random things. Sometimes he would tell me over and over again about how much he loved me, sometimes he would yell and cry about how much I aggravated him. I figured it was just the alcohol and pot talking and so I went along with what ever he was saying at the time.

Sometimes, he would pass out while he was on the phone with me. Eventually, the inevitable happened: The phone bill came for both of us. After one month of constant long distance phone calls, the total bill was $888. I had a job at the time and he didn't, so I got stuck paying the bill for both of us. The summer ended with his return to NC, and we were all happy and lovey again for a week or two, but then he wanted time with his friends.

I was to blinded by love to see that all he wanted from me was sex and money and a ride to and from his friends houses AND that the dominating factors in his life were weed and beer. Anyhow, our "love" lasted until the end of my junior year of High School, when he was graduating. Graduation day, we broke up for the first time. We were fighting about something (as usual), and I was so upset when he dumped me that I threw up! Within three days we were back together. This time, he swore he'd be nicer to me... yeah right.

Once again, he added insult to injury by telling me that he didn't believe in love and that he didn't know why he was with me. He said the fact I had trouble trusting him was a major problem, yet he continued to lie to me about everything. However, we lasted until that August, when we got an apartment together, thinking that living together would bring us closer. WRONG AGAIN.

He was never home and I had a feeling he was cheating on me since our condoms were disappearing and he never seemed to have an answer why... So I left.

I now live with my parents again (well hey, I'm only 18!) and I am much happier to have the stress of supporting myself AND another person, gone.

Since I have been living back home, he has called me over and over again, begging me to come back, but I can't let myself do that again.

To make this story really pathetic, I found another guy. He is my match in every way, and I guess I knew it since I have known him, but I just didn't want to admit it. He called me the other night and asked if I wanted to maybe go out sometimes, so we did. Things were wonderful, and I couldn't have been more happy. Until yesterday... when the new guy called and told me that he is back with his ex girlfriend.

So, there is my luck.


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