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      Then she went away


I met her the summer I turned 15 and we became a couple that summer. My life was quite a mess at that time and I totally and in every way fell for her. I trusted her with my life, it was all about her, even if it didn't always show. The happiest days of my life lasted for three years. I had some kind of personal crisis and she went thru rough times. At that moment I needed her support more than ever, but instead she turned her back on me and broke up. I still loved her so much. She meant the world to me.

The summer she broke up with me was the hardest I've ever experienced. I decided that I wouldn't survive it, that I would kill myself. I spent numerous hours walking past her house, just hoping to get a sight of her - but nothing. She never spoke to me again. The same summer I got my driver's license. Still today I don't like sitting behind the wheel because it reminds me of the car connected suicide plans I had. The only reason I didn't drive my self to death or open my veins that summer were my friends. Even if they never really talked to me about it, they knew what was going on and prevented me from doing what I wanted to.

After two years of misery and hours of loneliness I found a girl who had similar experiences. Today we've been together for almost three years. I love her but I'll never forget those horrible months of life and death, love and hate.


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