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      How can it hurt so bad?

     




I've been hurt many times in love. I've been unlucky and met some pretty mean guys that have used me and then thrown away.


Everything changed for me six months ago when I met this great guy that really cared for me and wanted me. I haven't known him for long but still I think I love him.


Because of my past I started to hesitate and push him away. I don't know why I behaved like that but at the time it felt right. He tried to get me back but I said no because I didn't care if he suffered I wanted to protect myself. Now it has been two months since I broke it off and I've been really unhappy ever since. We see each other only in a local bar that we both go to. I have really missed him and I sometimes find myself waiting for Friday and a chance to see him again. Last week he broke my heart again by being with this girl and they looked really intimate it reminded me of us together and I felt jealous. He gave me these looks all night like he was saying I'm sorry. I don't know how I'm going to pull myself together again and I really hate myself for messing up the best thing that has happened to me.


What can I do? I can't trust people anymore and I think that I have to live my life alone because I can't have him and he is the only one I want.

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