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      One piece missing


What do you do when the one thing that holds you together disappears? What do you do when the rope that stops you from falling is cut? What do you do when the ground opens up beneath you and you fall, and you keep on falling, and when you eventually reach the bottom how do you get up when there's no one there to help you?

I don't know the answers to these questions, I wish to God I did. I wish to God I didn't wake up everyday and wish I hadn't. I wish to God that the one person that meant everything and more to me hadn't ripped out my heart and my soul and left me with nothing but a black hole, the deepest feeling of emptiness and the most intense feeling of being completely alone.

Never in my life did I think it was possible for one person to cause another such pain. But no matter how hard I try (and believe me I have tried) I cannot hate him. Every time I see him I wish that he could feel even one small fraction of what I am feeling. Then he would know what it means to break someone's heart, but I still cannot hate him.

I'm so scared that I will never mend. That I will feel like this forever. Everyone tells me I'll get over it and I smile for them and tell them I already am. But I don't think I will ever get over it. Maybe one day someone will come along and open my heart again, but only a part of it. There will always be a part of my heart that I keep closed off from the world, waiting for the day that he comes back. I must hold on until that day when I have all the pieces of the puzzle again and I am complete.

For now there is one piece missing; and it is shaped like him.


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