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      I thought I was going to die


Ok, so I don't really know why I am posting this. I guess to get some issues off of my mind.

About 2 years ago I was introduced to my ex girlfriend. I still remember when she walked out her front door when I went to pick her up for our first date (blind date). I think I fell in love instantly. She was so beautiful.

The first date went well, We went to dinner, then back to my apartment for a movie. After about two hours of cuddling and kissing, it was time to take her home. I couldn't remember a time when I had felt more alive than that night. When I returned home, I cried. I cried a lot. I was so afraid that I'd never see her again after that night. I know it sounds crazy but it had happened to me a lot on blind dates. Even where I had reached the point of cuddling and kissing on the first date.

So, the next day I went to see her at work,(because she had asked me to, not because I'm psycho)by this time I felt a little more comfortable that this was going to go somewhere. Later on that night, we talked on the phone where she revealed to me that she had lied about her age. She was 15, at the time I was 20.

Against my better judgement I continued on with the relationship. She was the best girlfriend that a guy could ever ask for. Problem is, I'm not the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. We dated for close to a year, in which time I ditched her for my friends, I was very manipulative, and generally a bad person for her to be with. Under the influence of my friends, I broke up with her not realising what a mistake it would turn out to be. After I broke up with her, I found out about a few things she had been lying to me about. Not lies that lasted the course of our relationship just stuff that happened after. But looking back I think I pushed her into lying because she genuinely cared about me.

Shortly after I broke up with my ex, I started dating my current g/f whom I've been friends with since 6th grade. I'm absolutely miserable. and I miss my ex a lot. I saw her at the mall the other day with her new boyfriend I thought I was going to die.


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