Sitting here not caring about if I put periods or question marks in the right place I just need to write what I feel, you know I have been through head aches and pain and I know in time you will get over the pain you listen to everyone tell you not to call him or her that you need to be around other people you hear all that and it sounds good but how do I tell my heart to stop. Words are good and friends are wonderful and you try to force yourself to move on with your life. You sit around people and you try to smile but the pain that you feel is all in your eyes you start thinking this was the man of my dreams, someone that I gave not just my heart but my soul, the man that every woman dreamed about when she was planning her life, the man that when you met him you already knew him because you had seen him so many times in your dreams, his touch, your body already knew because it's the same touch you felt so many times in your dreams. This is the man of my dreams and you tell me to get over this.
It took me years to meet him. I have loved this man all my life waited for him, knew he was out there and now you ask me to just get over this. I ask myself if I must get over this what other dreams will I need to get over.
This is the love that you know you will never get over but will find ways to keep safe in your heart the man your grand kids will know his name and the love you felt for him the love you will know when you see it in other couples you know how true love looks, smells, tastes. Now this man loved me also, we really did love each other but what I did wrong was let people I call my friends ruin my relationship. I listened to every word they told me and I told them everything about the man that had my soul. Never do that because it will turn around and bite you. I never thought people you love as friends would hurt you but they will. I just wanted everyone to feel what I was feeling, a feeling so wonderful that you cant put into words. You would start talking with other people and if they had felt that feeling they would finish your words only if you have felt or met your soulmate would you know what I'm talking about.
There was nothing my heart wouldn't give him, now this man would give me chance after chance, every time I would do something and he would forgive me until one day the eyes that I saw so much love in, now looked past me. The smile he gave me every time he saw me was missing, this man at one time told me that every man needed a woman like me and that he loved me more and more everyday. Now he'd tell me he doesn't love me anymore, that he as run out of juice with me, that I have hurt him also and not thought of his feelings, this man now raises his voice at me. A voice that was so sweet is now a knife in my heart, his words are enough to hurt me.
Not every love is the same, I will never be the same again, oh I will care, maybe love someone else but never will I love like this again because you only love someone once with your soul but love others many times.
I don't think there are time frames or words or friends, not even another man that will replace this man in my heart. This was really my true love, a love you could tell if both of you never knew each other was in a room you would know because you could feel him, you both enjoyed just being around each other, you didn't have to go out to be around other people you had each other, You could be in a room full of people but it's just you and him there. You would start to talk and the other would finish.
My heart does hurt and I miss him so much, I miss his touch, his love.
I know I will never forget this man and maybe one day God will bring us back together because in my heart I know it was true. I can feel it, don't ask me to explain or think I'm fooling my self, it's a feeling that one day we will meet again and I will go on with my life but don't ask me to forget the man of my dream or my soulmate, because if we don't find our way back to each other I want him to be happy and if that means being with someone else then I'm ok just as long as he's happy because if he needs me I will be there and no person or miles will keep me from him.
I will always love him even if my heart aches today I still feel it's going to be ok because I met my soulmate.
I cant blame him for leaving because I did so many things to us and if someone can put that smile or look back in his eyes then that's enough for me to be happy in time.