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      Too much

     



I had met the man of my dreams when I was 12, he was 15. So there were 3 years between us, we were doing great. He was with me through both my rapes, through all the bad days I had, through all the trouble I had in going anywhere alone.


He was with me for every step of every day. We had been dating 2 years before he said he loved me. I didn't know if I loved him at that moment. I was only 14, and so scared. I told him when I knew I would say it. Still, every day he told me he loved me, and had faith in me. A year later, I was able to tell him that I was completely in love with him and wanted no other man.


I was 15 when we got engaged. A few months later he moved to New Jersey with his family. On Oct 23, 1999 I threw a party and he was going to come up and spend the weekend at my house with me and my family. He called that morning to say he couldn't make it, but he would be there the following weekend. I was mad when we hung up, but he knew I loved him still and that I would understand. Later that night he called me from his cell phone on his way back home after work, I was no longer mad. I told him I loved him and couldn't wait to see him again. Just after we got off the phone, a truck ran a red light and hit his car. The police said he was killed instantly.


I spent the past 4 years mourning for him. and I often times wonder if I will ever get over him. We never had sex, we had intended to wait until marriage. We were truly in love and not many people get to experience that, but I did and I got to at a young age.


Sometimes love is cruel and can leave you broken and alone.

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