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      My first love


When I was 17 I went out with a lad for 18 months, we broke up, although he swore he would always love me. I never really forgot him and thought of him many times over the years.

I married and have two wonderful children of 18 and 16. Last year I found his name through business on the internet and sent him an e-mail, we met up and it was like we had never been apart. I know now I have never loved anyone else. He loves me but is a weak man and cannot face the shame. We are both Catholics, his mother and I still see each other and she thinks I'm wonderful, she would never forgive us and he is heavily involved in the church and has young children. We have both tried to end it but its unbearable. We speak daily on the phone and meet for lunch every 2/3 weeks.

The pain is unbearable at times.

I'm 45 and wish I was 18 again. I cry daily for a love that can never be but won't go away.


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