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      I`ll try my best to explain - Updated

     



He made me beautiful. He made me believe that there were good people in the world. Most of all, he made me believe that I was loved and he taught me how to love in return.


Love is a language, a subject all of it's own that they cannot teach in school. He spoke it fluently and what else could I do but to fall for him. I was hesitant, I didn't want to get myself hurt and I didn't want to hurt him. I am very insecure about relationships and have a tendency to screw good things over. Here is our story and maybe you'll see why I think it's worth telling.


I want to say that we met by fate, that it was all destiny but I know that that isn't true. Mutual friends introduced us. At first, I really didn't think much about him. He was cute, but not drop-your-jaw gorgeous. We hung out a few times and started talking online more. I didn't want anything serious at the moment, I was still nursing a broken heart. But feelings rushed at me, I started anxiously awaiting the next time I got to talk to him and I would be thinking about him and remembering every little thing he had said to me.


I was scared and I was mad for letting myself do this. The walls I had carefully built around my heart and around my feelings came crashing down in a matter of days. I fell for him. I was hopelessly in love. What else could I do?


I couldn't live a day without talking to him, I got afraid that I would lose him. My insecurities were pushing their way back to the surface of our fantasy world. I mentioned this to him and he got mad at me, claiming that I was trying to tell him that I didn't love him anymore. That wasn't it at all. He was my love, the only person that had ever loved me. The fight lasted only a few, terrible days.


He is my everything. He is my hope, my strength, my angel from God. He is my world and he is the last piece that completes the puzzle of my soul.


I never knew love until I knew Dan. I never knew that a single person could fix a broken heart when given all the pieces. I never knew that I could trust until the day Dan opened the doors to my heart, walked in, and refused to leave.


I'm glad that he didn't go.


BY: Tina Gibson

I love Daniel Thompson...





Updated 10th February 03


Most stories in this section are about the heartaches we experience in our lifetimes. This heartache isn't mine to tell of, but since I was the horrible being who caused it, I thought that gave me some liberty to the tale.


The last thing I wanted to do was hurt the heart that loved me. For I knew that if I did that, then I would be hurting myself as well and I have other people to do that for me. The pain is too great for words, this is hard for me to write, but I know that I will feel better if I do get it out.


I love him and I will continue to do so until my last breath is stolen from my body. When the life is being sucked out of me I will still have strength enough to dream of him. I promised him forever and that's exactly what I intend to give him, if he will only accept it. I'm afraid that I hurt him too much, I don't know what he's feeling anymore.


I feel remorse for his gentle soul. I feel hatred towards myself and I want to kill what's left of my heart for making the man that I adore feel heartache. I can't change what I did, I can't change what I said. I can only change what will happen in the future and the only thing I am scared of is.... losing him. I've already lost a majority of him and his love, but do I really have to lose him completely?


I want to grow up and marry this man that I am speaking of. I have dreamed of a family with him and of our future life, I only want him. But like I said before I have a tendency to screw good things over. Damn Insecurities.


He has walked out of my heart, left it empty with only darkness to fill it's space. He's gone... or is it me that's gone?

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