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      There is more than the eye can see

     




Even though I am only 16 I have suffered plenty of heartache and have grown up a lot and fast! Well I first met him in the 6th grade and I had picked him out of my class as the cutest guy! I was such a dork! Well I liked him and he liked me just like any 6th graders would!


We dated for all of 7th and 8th grade. Last year I was so in love with him, he was the only thing that I knew. I tried so hard to get over him and I told everyone that I had done but I knew that I was lying to myself. I would try so hard to start dating again and fall in love again so my heart wouldn't be in so much pain. But all that did was put me in more pain. Around October and November Adrian (my love) had fallen into a depression because of a girl that didn't want to be with him. All of his friends called her a bi*** and she kept her head up high and walked away. What I didn't under stand was that I loved him so much and he didn't want to be with me, yet he had all this love for her when she didn't even want him. I told him that I was happy for him even though he and I both new that I was lying. So still trying to move on I started to go out with this new guy and I let life carry on from there so I wouldn't be so hurt. She must have known that he was bad news and he was a very sick person but I was too in love with him to even care notice.


A week later he had mentioned to a couple of people that he was going to kill himself. So at lunch I had my boyfriend at the time run me around everywhere so I could find him before he did it! I never found him! Thank God the cops did because if they would have found him ten minutes later he would have died


I had finally broke up with my current boyfriend and after Adrian got out I had started to talk to him more and we became closer and closer. About 3 weeks later we started to go out, during December he ran away and started to run from the cops! He would stay from place to place and he started to do a lot of drugs. Of course like a good girlfriend I was there with him 100% of the way! But a week before Valentines day the cops finally caught him. He had come up to my school to watch me practice and the liaison officers saw him. I waited till they had the policemen had arrived to take him away so I could say good bye! At first I couldn't say anything when they brought him out. Then I said I love you good bye, I will wait for you!


Well I did wait until I didn't feel our connection anymore! I felt as if he had moved on! Of course you would expect him to write or call but he didn't! I thought he didn't love me anymore! Well in the summer I had my best friend Brandon there for me always! I had realized I was falling in love with him! One day I got the nerve to kiss him and I did! One day after all this time passed Adrian called and told me that he still loves me and he wants to devote his life to me. But I was in love with Brandon and he had taken care of me and was so good to me. So I told Adrian that even though I still cared about him my love was no longer his, it was Brandon's! I cried and fought depression and I still am till this day! But now Adrian knows I love Brandon. I don't know what to do because I love Brandon so much and I know it is right to be with him. But yet a part of me wonders if Adrian is the right choice! I cry all the time and now just the other day he told me he has been talking to one of my old friends and they are going to go out. It I felt like all he was doing was trying to make me jealous. Actually I know that. Well now I have decided to stay with Brandon and let the world go and whoever I am supposed to be with I will eventually know! Because like they say true love will wait and I hope my heart will wait the wait because I am only 16 and already approached with life decisions! I wonder what life will bring me but what ever it is I will be ready


ps. Adrian called and said he tried to kill him self again what am I supposed to do run his and my life?


(email address left at the request of the contributor)


email me at samcastanuela16@yahoo.com maybe you know what to do!

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