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      Love is hard to understand

     



Since I was born, I travelled around the world because of my fathers job. When I was 14 I arrived to Chile, a very nice place. By the time I was 16 I met a marine, the most charming person in the world, his name was Esteban, but he was rather strange, he wasn't like all the others, he hated what everybody loved and loved what everybody hated, that made me pay more attention to him. I saw him frequently, but nothing happened. All I knew was that he talked more to me than the others.


At the age of 17 my father was transferred to Argentina (where I'm from). I hated my father for his job, but what could I do about it? nothing.


I went to Argentina, and went back to Chile for vacations. Then I started to see him more, and we talked a lot, but still nothing happened. One day he was sent on a mission with a friend of mine, so I told my friend to get some information about him. And he did, when they came back, my friend told me that Esteban was in love with me, but didn't want to say anything about it because I was living somewhere else. That same night we threw a little party and Esteban walked up to me and said we had to talk. He told me he had fallen in love the first time he saw me, so did I. We started going out for a couple of weeks, then he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so happy, although I knew I had to go back to my country in a few days.


When I had to go, it was awful, we both cried, but we couldn't do anything. I went to visit him some times during the year and he came once to visit me. One time I went to visit him and we finished, we loved each other, but it was to hard. It took us both 2 years to recover. I never went back and we only called for our birthdays.


Now I'm 20 and I went to Chile, I never stopped thinking about him, and wanted to see him badly, but I didn't know if he wanted the same, maybe he had forgotten me. When I got arrived I called him and we went out, and he kissed me, I almost cried, I loved him so much, he told me that after all this time he still kept all my letters and a picture of mine, he hadn't forgotten me. I thought this time it would be different, that we were going to stay together forever and that we were going to get married one day and wouldn't have to be apart again. We were both so happy, everything was so right, we had never been this good. But one day I called him and I thought he just had a bad mood, but then he called me back and said we had to talk. He came to the place I was staying at. He said he didn't want to go on, that he wanted to stop this long distance relationship forever, that he wanted to forget me and that I should do the same with him, I asked him why, and he said that everything was going too well and he was scared of what had happened before, that he'd suffered too much. He said he loved me too much, but I couldn't keep on hurting him. Why was he doing this? we both know that this is going to repeat over and over until we get old. I begged him not to leave me again, and that if he really loved me he couldn't leave me. He said I'm sorry, I love you too much, I suffered too much, and I'm loving you more every day and I can't let that happen.


So here I am, I don't know what is to become of me, he is the reason I keep on living, now I have nothing else to loose, he was the only thing I had left. But life is life, and love hurts, and nothing is as you want it to be.

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