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Around a year ago I met a totally awesome guy named Mike. He and I became good friends. Around a month or so into the friendship I began to really like him. I figured there was no chance we'd get together so I didn't tell him how I felt.
Little did I know he felt the same and 2 months later we would be dating.

We dated for almost 7 wonderful months. He was so much more than I had dreamed. He was the one person I could say anything too and not feel stupid. We had always promised each other 'no matter what happens we will always stay friends'. That seemed reassuring considering I loved (love) him too much to lose him completely. Then almost 2 weeks ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I broke up with him. My reasons I thought were good. I changed schools and we wouldn't really be able to see each other. I acted with my mind not my heart although I really wish I had. Then a couple of days ago I asked him back and he said that yes he would take me back. Then he didn't call and didn't write. My friend Brandi is his friend too (they met through me) and he was talking to her last night. He told her that his sisters friends was coming down to visit and planned to move down here. When my friend told me that I felt my heart break all over again. The girl he's talking about... his ex. Kerri. The girl he'd talk about in our friendship. He always said that if she hadn't moved they would still be together & how cool she was. He also told Brandi he's been getting himself ready to see her. It's so obvious he wants to give some relationship another try. just not ours. I'm happy for him, I mean I'm sad for me I lost a great guy. But I want him to be happy even if it's not with me. The worst part of it all is that he hasn't talked to me at all and I know deep down I've lost the one thing in the world that made me happy. Mine and Mikes friendship.

I don't think life will ever be the same without him. I love him in every way possible and I need him more than anything, life is not worth living without him... but I guess I have no one to blame but myself.


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