His name was Patrick. A name that is so simple yet was attached to the man I will never forget. We were about 11 or 12 when we first met. He came to the school that I attend and ended up sitting next to me in my 5th period English class. t first I thought he was the worlds biggest "dork", but I soon found out different.
For the first few weeks I steered clear of him, after all in 7th grade I had a "reputation to build", what a fool I was. My friends, of friends, of friends told me over and over that he asked about me constantly, wanted to know every thing he could get them to tell him. I would often catch him starring at me across the class room as well. I have to admit for a while he kind of scared me.
Then came one of my many dreaded days as a 7th grader, homework day! Of course I didn't have it done and it was because of this my entire world changed.
I was frantically trying to finish the assignment before the "execution" bell rang, when suddenly I was being handed a sheet of paper identical to mine only it was full of answers. I looked up to see the face of this young man I had spent weeks trying to avoid, and I'm sure he knew it, saving me from a untimely detention.
I quickly copied down all the answers and said 'thank you' just as the bell commanded us back to our seats. As luck would have it he was a genius and we passed with flying colors.
This kind of became a once a week thing for us (I was a very poor student) and in these times the conversation grew and before we knew it we had become best friends.
We did everything together that we could at that age. We sat together in lunch, next to each other in English, if I had detention so did he, if I stayed out sick so did he, and the phone conversations lasted for days.
By the end of our 8th grade school year we knew what we had was love. He wanted us to peruse this fact more then I can explain but I was so afraid of the friendship we had built, so nothing came of it.
We dated other people, some good and some not so good, but we were always there to see each other through. I once had a boyfriend who beat and mentally tormented me, I lost all my friends and began a downward spiral of lonely sadness. Patrick never gave up on me. He stood by me through everything and led me to my salvation.
Then the worst thing that could have happened, happened. At the end of my sophomore year Patrick moved away. It was so sudden we never even got to say goodbye. I spent a long time by myself remembering the times and words we shared. Time starring at photographs and clinging to stuffed animals.
I found my strength to go on in his memory he left for me. I finished high school and took on a hole new life. My new life consisted of all new friends as well. About 2 years out of school I became best friends with a young couple and spent all my time with them. They were expecting there first child and we all decided to do a little shopping at the mall. After a hour of uncontrollable spending we ventured by a small shop, and behind the counter of that shop was Patrick, I came to find out that the couple knew him as well as he had attended their school at one point too. Hugs and kisses and phone numbers were exchanged and I once again had a best friend.
I knew that no matter what it took I was going to make this time different. I had dated and dated and knew that there was not anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with more then Patrick. He had a girlfriend at the time and as much as I hate to admit it, when I told him how I felt she became a figment of the imagination.
In two weeks we were together and I never felt more alive. In two months I was pregnant, and in three month we were engaged, due to be wed in Feb. 2 years from then. We were as in love as two people can be. Now I will not say we didn't have problems because boy did we have our share but we pulled through everything that was dealt to us.
Then our daughter was born and the world seemed to lie at our finger tips. Then six months after our daughter was born it happened. Patrick became very sick. The doctors beat around the bush for a month about what was wrong with him but never had any answers. Patrick had no insurance and it seemed nobody took him seriously because of this. This started to way heavy on our relationship, and I began to think it was in his head. We began to fight constantly and eventually I went to stay with my parents for a while. I will never forgive myself for being so weak when he needed me the most after he had been there for me for so long.
Patrick had some younger friends he spent our few days apart with and three days before his first fathers day something no one ever expected to happen did. I had gone to our house to talk things out with Patrick only he wasn't there so I left a note saying I wanted to come home and make things right. Only when I got back to my parents house that dream was shattered.
Patrick's mother called from the hospital saying that Patrick had been in a car crash and I had to come things didn't look good. When I got there they told me that Patrick's sickness had been caused by and aneurisms in the brain and it had burst and caused him to crash. I spent hours by his side telling him how sorry I was and to come back to me and everything would be ok. Our time was too short. Patrick died the day before his first fathers day.
The devastation I experienced is nothing I can ever explain and the only thing that kept me going was her, that beautiful baby girl we created and the strength Patrick once showed me.
I believe that when you are created you are whole and when you are placed upon this earth you are divided and your true love is your other half. A part of me died that day.
It has been two years now and we are doing fine. Another man has come into my life who is just as strong and wonderful as my Patrick. He loves and takes care of us in everyway, and I am convinced my Patrick is still loving us and sent us a angel who spawned from his very heart to fill the void. Ray is his name and he a whole other story. The regret of not taking advantage of our love from the beginning will stay with me forever, but our time together will be my most cherished memory forever.
"live each day as it was your last, tomorrow may never come"