This is a story about love, and heartache. I placed it under "Love", because the love I feel for my friend is strong enough to dispel the pain I feel from not being with her.
Most people have had or know someone who loves another with all of their soul, all of their being, but will still never get to be with that person.
I met my best friend in 7th grade. I was instantly drawn to her for some reason. She was amazingly cool, and after calling her 20 times to talk to her, we slowly became friends.
I could feel inside that I wanted more from our friendship. I tried multiple times to get her to date me, but she simply wasn't interested.
We became very close friends through high school. During the times when she was dating someone, I would become incredibly depressed. I would lash back at her and claim she never wanted to be around me. I grew into a mean spiteful person from the pain I felt knowing that no one could love her more than I.
No one else knew how special this girl was.
No one could appreciate her beauty, her kindness, her personality more than I.
It swallowed me alive, and at one point she told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore, that she wanted me out of her life. I cried for 3 days straight and only left my room when I absolutely had to.
How could I have messed this up? We were so close she'd know what I was thinking before I even opened my mouth, and now she wanted nothing to do with me.
She called me days later, and it took her twenty minutes to stop me from crying into the phone incoherently before we could talk.
She told me she still wanted to be my friend, that she loved me, but that I was hurting her by the way I acted when she had a boyfriend. She told me she wanted some time away, and that she would talk to me soon.
I felt relieved, but angry. Angry at myself. How could I let anything come between me and her? How selfish could I be?
About two weeks later, she called and asked if I wanted to go out that night. When she got to my house I didn't know what to say to her. When I saw her, I started to cry again. She hugged me and told me that I was still a very important person in her life and that nothing will come between us. "Boyfriends come and go", she said "but I'll always need a friend like you".
We've been out of high school for almost four years now, and I've agonised through 5 different guys that she's dated. But I never lose sight of how important she is in my life. We're still friends to this day, and maybe one day we will be together, maybe it'll never happen. Regardless, I still have my best friend, my angel.