I don't even know where to begin and to make a long story short.
I met him after my separation from a 23 year marriage. I had married my first boyfriend when I was 19 years old so I never knew how it was to date or have admirers. But about 4 months after I separated, I met him.
He was nice and sweet to me and I just couldn't believe that someone so young and cute could like me. So we dated, he was a server and he really didn't have much to his name. But anyway, I grew fond of him and vice versa. I had the time of my life going to wild parties and staying out all night. This is stuff I never did when I was a teenager.
We ended up moving in together and at first it was great, but then I found out he was using and selling drugs. Then when I confronted him about it all hell broke loose. He started beating me for any reason. If I was late or if he couldn't get a hold of me or if my ex-husband would call me.
I've gone through hell and back in this relationship with this man. I don't know why my heart still aches now that I've left him after a 4 year relationship. Do I love him or do I just miss the misery. Did I get used to it or what is wrong with me. I know that he will never changed, I've tried so hard to make it work. I'm sorry that it didn't. But I can't eat or sleep and the other day I saw him with another woman and it just tore me apart.
Help me, tell me how can I make my heartache go away.