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      What are we going to do?


I am a 28 year old Christian who is very active in the church. I met this guy who was also a member of my church. I used to see him all the time standing around the church but he would never say anything. We were in a couple of classes together but still only a brief hello. Why was he just looking? Why didn't he say anything? I'm too old to be thinking about this man. I didn't even know his name.

Then it happened. I saw him at the mall and I flirted with him and the relationship started. From the conversation on the very first date I should have run away. But No.

He was tall, good looking, had a good job and in church. On the first date he said he was in love with his ex-girlfriend but they had not talked for two years. So in my mind I was saying once you get to know me that flame will die down. We had sex and we both felt guilty because of our religious belief's. So we stopped talking for a couple of weeks. Then we spoke again and went out and the chemistry was there again and we made passionate love for hours. He had a glow on his face, but guilt settled in again. I was so ashamed I could not control myself. He asked me if I wanted to get married. I replied you are just asking me that because of the guilt. He had stated he didn't know what he wanted to do because he was believing God to answer his prayers for him to get back with his ex. Why are you with me? I asked and he said he wanted to be with me. He told me I was wonderful and we were good together.

Again we did not talk for days and when we did talk he would be asking where I had been. He acted concerned and acted like he missed me. Then one night I asked him to tell me how he really felt about me and he said, You are right. I'm not in love with you or anything. He said he was only dating me because I was available. That hurt and I am still trying to get over it. But I know that I'm a wonderful woman and it was his lost.


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