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      Why me ?

     



It happened when I least expected it too. I was at work, and the week before I was at Spring Break partying with all my friends getting drunk and meeting new people. When I saw him I felt odd, I donít know, call me crazy but it must have been his smile. He came up to me and told me that I had a beautiful smile, I started to blush and I started to smile more. He gave me his number and when he left he said ď If your going to throw it away do it when I leaveĒ I started to laugh. I was 22 and single at the time, I never believed in love at first sight either.


I had his number for a couple of days and my cousin told me that I had nothing to lose just to call. I am a little old fashioned I like guys to call me but I didnít give him my number, so I called. He wasnít there, but he called me back. We went out the next day and I had so much fun with him. I thought that it couldnít happen to me, but I was actually happy. We went everywhere together, fishing, hunting, shopping, movies. I loved it I felt so loved. I knew that I was falling in love and he had expressed his feelings also. The next step was for him to meet my friends and family, well my parents hated him, he was about 7 years older and yes he was more experienced but the chemistry was there. I had never felt like that with any other guy I had ever dated.


When he met my friends, they could see that I was extremely happy, and were worried that he would hurt me. They were worried that it was to good to be true; I mean he was perfect for me. Then it happened, the truth came out but it was too late. I was feeling sick so I went to the doctor and I was pregnant, I was so scared I didnít want anyone to find out I at 23 was pregnant. I called him when I got out of the office and he was so happy, I was surprised. He had a softball game in Brownsville and he picked me up. He wanted to talk to me, so I thought.


When he confessed that he was married, I wanted to die. I couldnít believe what I was hearing then he goes on to tell me that he has about 8 other kids with all these other women. I felt so sick, but he said that he loved me and that he was getting a divorce. I felt like a slut but I really didnít know. His mother called me a whore, I tried to tell her that he had lied to me all that time but it was no use. My parents hated him but I wanted to do the right thing for my child. We bought a house and then my daughter came. Then he did it to me, while I was delivering in the hospital I noticed that he was acting funny. When I was checking out of the hospital a woman asked if the baby was his, I said of course it was, then she said that she was his girlfriend, and pregnant also. I couldnít believe my ears and to top it off my father had just died and I was trying to rush home to get to my family. She went on to say while I was delivering his daughter he was with her in bed. I had no one to take me home so I called my uncle to come get me. I got home and I was so depressed. And when I got there it turns out that she wasnít the only one, he was with a lot of women and couldnít keep it in his pants. I moved back home with my mom to help her through my loss and he would harass me every day.


It has been almost 3 years and he finally has stopped calling. But I will always love him, I thought that I had found my soul mate and in a way he was, he just wasnít ready to commit to me. I am a good person, with a good heart and I gave him a chance when he had a really bad past. I thought that I could change him, but I was wrong.


Maybe I will find my soul mate, my mom says not to look for it that it will just happen, and I reply I thought that had already happened. I still cry myself to sleep because he was my one true love but maybe years from now I will find someone else.


So my advice, when you think that you have met the one, check out that person just to have your bases covered. Trust me donít make the same mistake that I did. Love really makes a person blind.


Priscilla from McAllen

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