The walls I built:
Have you ever felt your walls of insecurities come falling down when you look at him? Talking about my experiences with love is hard to even put in words. I'm only 18 and in college, but being raised in a strict household, love did not come easily for me...This story is not about my ex, no, it's about the man I'm starting a new beginning with. Learning from my mistakes before with my ex, I'm scared to let down those walls. But...when i look into his eyes, i fall deeper in love. I'm afraid of the consequences, the pain i felt before, the unexplained pain that hurts more than anything I've ever felt before when you see something that you shouldn't have seen. The feeling of being betrayed by the man that you constantly said, "I love you too," to.
With this new man, I'm scared that he is going to let me down, disappoint me, betray me...destroy me. When he's acting strange, I can't help but feel like he doesn't want "us" anymore...I'm not naive, people say that at my age, kids can be naive, but being naive is different from being in love. I'm a broken girl. From all the hurt that I've kept inside, from all the pain that I've built up because of all the men that broke my heart...it is fair to say that I am broken...But this pain, this betrayal, MY past will never strip away my worth as a woman. I may be broken from the heartaches and my heart may be in a-thousand pieces, I still faced, gone through, and survived the hardest thing any human being could ever go through. The pieces and consequences of love.