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      "MOTHER GONE NOW, "I NEED U MAMA..........

     


BEING THE YOUNGEST CHILD OUT OF 7SIBLINGS WAS KAOS FOR ME,I HATE BEING MY MOTHERS LAST BABY OUT OF THE BUNCH,SOME OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WAS SO JEALOUS OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT ME AND OUR BELOVING MOTHER HAD I WAS JUST A LIL GIRL WE ALL WAS SPOIL NOT JUST ME I'VE DONE EVERYTHING THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SHE HAD ASK ME TOO AND EVERYONE ELSE WOULD GET UPSET ARE BECOME REBELLION'S AND HARD HEADED WHICH WOULD CAUSE STRESS ON OUR MOTHER,SHE REPEATEDLY HAD TO ASK THEM OVER AND OVER UNTIL ONE OF THEM GOT IN TROUBLE THEN THEY WILL GET MAD AT ME BECAUSE I WILL RUN IN THE ROOM WITH HER,BECAUSE SINCE THEY ARE IN TROUBLE I KNEW IF I STAY IN THE ROOM WITH THEM THAT THEY WOULD TRIED TO TEASE ME CALL ME OUT OF MY NAME JUST MAKE FEEL LOW,CALL ME A TELLER TELL SNITCH,JUST PICKING ON ME FOR NO REASONS JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE IN TROUBLE AND UP UNTIL THIS DAY GUEST WHAT IT'S GOES ON..."MOTHER GONE NOW," BUT MAMA I STILL NEED YOU...I'VE ALWAYS WANTED GREAT SIBLINGS SOMEONE LIKE A BIG BROTHER A BIG SISTER THAT I CAN LOOK UP TO BUT IT SEEMS LIKE BEING THE LAST OF MAMA'S BABY I HAD IT HARD...ALL MY BROTHER AND SISTERS CALL ON ME TO HELP THEM OUT SEND THEM MONEY HELP THEM WITH THEIR CHILDREN'S"THEIR PROBLEMS STARTING STRESSING ME OUT I KNOW THAT AIN'T NOBODY PERFECT BUT THEIR PRIORITIES ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT FROM MINES I'VE ALWAYS WORK UP UNTIL NOW,I STARTED DEVELOPING ANXIETY,DEPRESSION,ISOMINA,PANIC DISORDER,WEIGHT GAIN,WEIGHT LOSS AND HAIR FALLING OUT I'VE BEEN OVERWHELMED WITH FULL OF STRESS BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME,YES I TAKE EVERYTHING TO THE HEART AND YES I TOLD OUR MOTHER EVERYTHING ABOUT WHY OTHER CHILDRENS WAS ALWAYS MESSING WE ME I USED TO TELL MY BROTHER AND THEM IF I WAS A LIL OLDER I CAN DEFEND MYSELF A LIL BETTER I WAS SO FRUSTRATED I HATED THEM,I ALSO USE TO SUCK MY THUMB AND IT HAD MESS WITH MY SPEECH AND MY WHOLE ENGLISH WAS OFF I HAD BAD BEING TONGUE TIDE BUT NOW I'VE GOTTEN BETTER,MAMA GONE NOW BUT I STILL NEED YOU. FAMILY BEGIN TO SEPERATE AND GO THEIR OWN WAYS AFTER MAMA GONE I MISS HER SO BAD THAT I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO LIVE BUT BECAUSE OF ME RAISING ONE OF MY SISTER CHILD AT THE AGE OF 19 I HAD TO STAY STRONG IT WAS SO HARD I ALSO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF OUR BELOVING MOTHER THATS NOW R.I.P IT'S NOW BEEN 4YRS SHE DIED OF DIABETES,HEART FAILURE,KIDNEY FAILURE,GAIN GREEN IN HER RIGHT FOOT,LEGALLY BLIND,DEMENTIA,MRSA IN HER BLOOD STREAM THE WHOLE NINE YARDS I HAD TO WITNESS ALL THAT I HAD TO GIVE MY MOTHER MEDICATIONS TO HER SHE WAS ON 23PILLS IT WAS SOOOOO HEART BREAKING TO WATCH HER HAVING TO GO THROUGH THAT MY FAMILY WOULDN'T NEVER BE AROUND THEY LEFT ALL THE RESPONSBILITIES ON ME WHY BECAUSE AGAIN I WAS THE BABY MY MOTHER NEW THAT OUT OF ALL OF HER CHILDRENS THAT 1 WILL BE THE ONE THA WILL TAKE CARE OF HER ALL THE WAY EVEN I STILL HAD TO RAISE MY OLDEST SISTERS CHILD WHICH SHE WAS ON DRUGS WHICH WAS ANOTHER ISSUE SO I TOLD MY MOTHER THAT I WILL ALWAYS TAKE OF HIM BECAUSE I WOULDN'T NEVER LET HIM GO INTO THE SYSTEM I JUST HAD TO STEP UP AS A YOUNG WOMAN AND TAKE CARE OF HIM AND MY MOTHER WHILE THE OTHER SIBLINGS WILL GO OUT AND HANG IN THE STREETS AND GANG BANG AND LEFT ME IN THE HOUSE WITH BOTH OF THEM I HAD TO LEARN TO COOK FOR MY MOTHER IN A HEALTHY WAY AND MY NEPHEW THAT I'VE ADOPT IT WASN'T EASY,I HAVE MORE TO SHARE IN CHAPTER 2

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