So near yet so Far
It's been a long time I've waited for the right guy but until now I didn't find the one. I'm tired of waiting everyday. Sometimes, I feel to myself maybe I'm not beautiful or a good woman enough because nobody tried to approach and court me. I'm thinking perhaps they're afraid of me.
One day, I met this guy and his nationality isn't a filipino. I met him in the company where I'm working at. I like the way he is. He's handsome. He's tall. He's white skin. I love to look at his lovely complexion. The best thing I love him the good attitude he has. It makes me fall inlove every single day. I never fall in love like this before. He's perfect in my eyes. We're just friend but not that close. There were times we met in the hall way and just smiling each other or sometimes just looking at and even a few words like saying Hi or hello you can't here from us. The situation makes me suffocates everyday. It seems like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up.
Until one day, I met this second guy. He treated me well and respect me so much. We always shares our Do's and don't to each other. Our favorites, hobbies , likes, sports and etc. I'm happy talking with him. Every day we had a good conversation. We laugh at loud and teasing each other. He gives me chocolates and other stuff. But the problem was, I'm not sure if he really likes me because I never heard from him that he wants to court me. I don't have any idea about his feelings to me.
I felt that there's something but I don't want to expect until he'll say something about it. I don't want to assume in a certain things if I'm not sure of anything.
I don't want to think about anything but why I'm hurt? I'm affected and every day it makes me sad. I felt that destiny is so unfair. It sounds like a tricks or just a game. They were just playing my feelings or emotions. I felt that I'm not deserving to be love. It's so unfair. They let me feel that I'm special or important but at the end leaving me puzzling. They act romantic but I think it just for nothing.
:( I'm broken and hurt.