Yet another Incomplete Story
Feelings for a girl aroused ,in myself ,from the first yr's
1st sessional's math paper,
prior to that I had never even noticed that grl. that day first
time i talked to her and still sometimes ponder those
Within few months I started to feel very attracted
towards her began to like her very much.My heart
demanded immensely to be with her but i couldn't fulfill
this demand becoz of the fear of rejection from her.
I found my-self out of words when-ever i got any chance
to talk with her ,as on what subject to communicate and
also there was the feeling what would she might think
of me ,would she take me +'vely or -'vely .,
whether she might like me or not.,
that fear of rejection always
prevented me from explicitly expressing my feelings
directly to her.
and tht's y a just opposite behavior in myself was born for her which always prevented my feelings leaking from my side and fake'd tht i don't care for her.
I still remember i had spent many nights, only thinking of about her and in those moment's i deadly wanted to talk with her , hear
whenever I got to spent any moment with her ,to make it
memorable i quoted well versed in my personal Diary.
I even tried to make her know about my feelings for her
but my approach was wrong and i didn't got any valid
response. But one thing was made clear tht she might
have gave her response in my favor ,Bt she was too not
comfortable to take me as bf as she feared(i believe) of people's
May be it would be becoz, I am very simple nd does not possess dashing looks but she doesn't know
how much i feel for her, how much i could take care of
her than anybody else...
I even wrote a love letter to propose her but couldn't
afford tht much courage to deliver her it.
I liked the way she talks ,her voice , the way she make
faces , the way she keeps her on the desk to relax and
""The only thing that now "Bother's" me a lot is her
ignorance or innocence , in not being able to decide a
physical boundary of herself for other's. she allows tacky
guy's to touch her or tease her (nd that too in very obscene way)and this thing looks disturbing to me.
I feel crippled & couldn't say anything as with which right I may stand up against this to prove my point. she is not my friend either yet.
Now time seems to have passed like in a fraction of second and we have got in the 4th yr. and now only few
months to go by and still i had not expressed my
feelings to her.
but somewhere in my heart i feel tht she knew about
my feelings bt she does not care.
and I don't know whether i could ever say to her or not .