The Deepest Scar
So when I was 12 years old, I was the only person who had never honestly been asked out. A boy was paid a dollar once to ask me on a date though. That hurt like hell because I liked this boy.
So I went on the internet and met a boy. He really liked me and I liked him too. I lied and told him I was older than 12 because I've always looked older than I am. Right now I can fake 22 and I'm 16... yea. So this boy asked me out, (I'll all him T for now.) and I was so happy!
You see, I've hated myself since I was 8 years old. I've always been different and I hate it. So when T asked me out I thought he was the only one who would ever love me. At the time I swear he was. He and I got way too close. He was 16.
We'd been dating for a while and I felt that we'd grown apart. That night I told him it wasn't working but that he was still very kind and handsome and I knew he'd have no trouble finding someone else.
He said he was going to kill himself. He said I made his life worth living. He said I was the only thing keeping him alive...
It wasn't a quick suicide.
He talked to me the whole time.
He took a knife and cut himself up.
There was so much blood.
He sent me a picture if the bloody knife.
I told him I'd do anything if he would just stop!
Just stop and listen to reason!
I'd- I'd go back out with him!
I'd be anything he wanted!
I'd do anything..!
At 11pm I started crying in desperation...
At 2am he stopped answering...
At 3am I finally stopped crying and gave up...
At 7am I started middle school...
I would send him messages even though he was dead. It said that he was reading my texts.
"Who's reading this??" I asked.
A boy who we'll call D answered that he was T's brother. He told me T didn't die because of me. He had a lot of problems and needed an excuse to die.
Then D starts hitting on me. He said he read T and my messages and had fallen for me. When I turned him down he said "whatever. I was just gonna use you like my brother did."
I looked down at the scars on my arms that I'd made because of T. I made more for D and never spoke to them ever again.
I cut myself for 2 years and have recently started again. I go to therapy now, even though my mom makes fun of it. I do have a new bf now.
...I'm so scared to be hurt again... But, I'm kinda used to it now. The guy I'm dating now is the only person I know who hasn't hurt me.
Wish me luck?