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      A New Life

     


Okay well I don't know how to start to I guess I'll start from the first thing I remember:this story begins in my eighth grade year. I was always shy to make friends, but my best friend introduced me to this guy. (I'll call him Jay.) He was in my math class and I knew his sister and cousin but I was always afraid if talking to him because of how terrified I was of being rejected or hated. My first thought when he said hi to me was, "holy crap! He's talking to me! Why would he talk to someone as ugly and stupid as me?!" (I thought that because I have always battled hate towards myself because of insults from my grandparents and mother which they thought would help me lose weight even though I was still too young to be worrying about that.) After that we never talked unless I was with someone he knew and he would just say a friendly hello. Well the next to years were horrible because of the death of my grandpa after a battle of bone cancer, the depression of never feeling good enough for anyone, and trouble with my then boyfriend. I remember one day I was volunteering at church like I always do with a bunch of middle schoolers, that day I was so mentally broken that my body hurt and I just wanted to lay down and cry my eyes out! Then I started talking to Jay and I guess he was looking for someone to talk to just like I was. He knew I would get over emotional or get anxiety attacks very quickly and he would stay with me through everything. One day he came over to my house, haha I had never seen him so nervous before and he got close to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. After that we spent almost every day together and when he had to leave I would get sad and he would tell me "you're gonna be okay, I'll come back tomorrow." And still I wouldn't let him go! He had to pry my arms off him! To this day he still has no idea how much he has helped me get through depression and self harm and how much I love him! I don't know what my future is but I hope that I stay with him until the end! And well that's my story, I don't think anyone will want to read this but thanks to whoever does.

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