Where did that come from?
I was dating this guy
for a year and 3 months.
He was so perfect: family orientated, a man of law enforcement, great morals, respect.. He wasn't the hottest man in the world but, they grow on you.
He went on a holiday with mates for a week, was almost in contactable.. When I did hear from him, it was very basic and boring, I shrugged it off, he was on holiday, things are perfect.. Etc
When he got back he added a girl on fb, I thought to myself? Why would he add this person from randomsville if he's not even in Austalia to meet them??
He gets back and talks on and in about this girl (who has a thing with his mate) for the next 3 months, calls are made when he leaves the room, messages and everything. Photos appear but I studied the gestures and she's leaning in..
So this behavior had questioned my trust the the point of (forgive me god) looking in his messages on the day of our 1 year anniversary. I see an 'I miss you bub' from her and an "I miss you too" from him. I have a panic attack and ask him immediately, he assures me they're just friends and I burst out to tears saying "that's weird, friends don't say that to eachother in that way" . He convinced me, for now, that it was nothing and that he'd stop taking to her. We spent that night in a hotel I paid and planned for, it wasn't the same.
Weeks later I took him to the airport at stupid o'clock to fly up to see a friend who'd hurt himself...
A week later at his house, I'm on his Facebook on his phone and I come across a message to her the day before he left saying "or more day til I can have my way with you".
Back and that anxiety attack and I immediately questioned him, he said it was only a friendly joke, then tried telling me were different people. I questioned that then he told me not to worry about it.
We then went to pick up his best mate and his gf grin the airport, on the way out I was in tears saying how sick of this home wrecker I am, there's no place in heaven for people like her. I told him I love him so much and I want to spend the rest if my life with him, when he balled into tears in silence.
After a heavy drive to my house, we got there and told me I don't deserve this treatment and how sick it's made me from not eating the last weeks. I was in denial begging him no, for about 40 minutes, I threw up out the car cause I was do upset.
Finally he got round to saying, he had been cheating on me with, and that he had sex with her overseas and has been seeing her since.
He walked me to the back door, I managed to get a hug and an I love you out of him then he left, as I watched him from the stairs.
Anyone could imagine that night, the next day, I was still so upset. I went to the hospital after friends concern on my plotting to crash my car, I was put on a sleeping mediation for a week and antidepressants of which I've now been on for 8 months. I couldn't hold myself together, I had a doctors certificate for a week off work.
I couldn't eat I had no appetite or pains in the belly for 4 days, while the remainder of what I had eaten before the event and my stomach lining was being vomited up. No nutrients equals no energy, I couldn't hold up my own body and had to lounge around and sleep alongside my mourning schedule.
A few weeks later I hosted a trivia night with a social club I had joined because all my friends and his family who I loved dearly went with him.
Back to the point, I seen him there with his dad, I went up and said hi and tried to start a new slate if conversation, I missed my best friend, but it was like he had died, I talked to his father more than him, focusing on hiding my shaking arms, chin and body. I'm proud of my effort.
..... I haven't seen or heard from him since, I've seen on Facebook that he's dating the girl he cheated on me with.
Alas, I'm okay because if you think of what you would advise a friend to do in this situation, then you do it.
My advisions still stand as "Once a cheater, always a cheater", "relationships are built on trust, you will never forget this"
I have been dieting and going to the gym, I have lost 8kgs and tonned up myself, I got extensions and blonde hair to initiate my new chapter, I have a dog which makes me so spiritually happy.
I got a new job which I'd been meaning to do for 3 years and I have a lot if new friends.
I also have a new boyfriend, we both found eachother in heartbreak. Now that I've been dating for 6 months, my friends are jealous cause he's stunning, I love my boyfriend very much and today we are working together to get me off these antidepressants and back to myself. He had been patching up my heart and I'm starting to trust people a little bit and get close to them.
He's the one, and I will marry him one day