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      My fears made me miss a chance of love


What I thought would be a bad school for me, turned to be a lovelife zone. A school known for drugs , alcohol and pregnancy , I thought I'd also change . After the first term I was settled in comfortably with the craziest friends and a boyfriend in my life, not an imaginary one this time. Through all that I had a crush or so I thought. He was average height ,slim body, small red lips and crazy cute smirk. He'd say hi and Id respond hi. That's it for 1 year between two people to be connected by love. Social network,mxit, through it I knew all his names,dreams,fears,favourites,his family and that he loves me. But you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend how will this work? Ill dump my girlfriend and Ill be your second boyfriend. Hell no! That's what I thought ,that was not how I imagined our love. When I broke up with my player , I think , boyfriend , I thought about dating him. Dating in school, he'll take advantage of me, he'll have to break up with his girlfriend and we don't share the same music taste. Music is the most important hobby for me. But I loved, I love him. At night I kiss his pictures, miss our 2pm-11pm chats, I've never loved anyone like I love him. What to do what to do? Damn Im a coward in such a way that I block out a chance for love. The pain Im causing myself because Ill see the love of my life everyday loving someone else. Maybe it's just hormones ,when we leave school he'll stop loving him .

I mean Ive only loved him for 3 years only. Jve felt a rush of blood, butterflies in my stomach, weak at the knees, a tingly sharp feeling in my heart and heat on my ears when I see him, all for 3 consecutive years . Maybe he doesn't love me , it was a bet amongst his friends or its cause of his male hormones and it ain't in his heart . There I go again pushing love away . I think it's love but. " 2011 Valentia I've never loved a girl the way I love you, you are beautiful. 2012 I still love you. 2013 I am sorry if I am annoying you but always know that I love you.

Yeah now . I do regret it.


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