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      Heart breaks and mistakes remember don't break.


I'll say I'm very young to feel this way but I fell in love. I fell deeply for this guy named joshua. It all started with a crush. There we were at 3rd period we had a partner assignment and he was right next to me so what the heck we just started talking. I never new how cute he was until he looked up at me and started talking. I thought this guy was all sensitive . Smart about people's feelings. That person who you never thought would tell at you or have anger . This guy always believe in god . He talks about the lord and th bible 24/7 . This guy is what I wanted . That's the guy I fell in love with. Every day we would stare at each other . Our eyes were magnets; every day I see you it's just always a stare. We both secretly had a very good crush on each other, I really like this guy. In march 27, he had ask me to be his girlfriend . Off course I said yes. As days of our relationship gone by was amazing. Until we reach that point were one f us gets jealous . Jealous or mad . I saw this gel messaging him all winks and all smileys and Ed I got jealous because this girl was an absolute beauty and I could not bear loosing him to her. I love him . But instead of him telling me to calm down and that he will never date her, he said "grow up" those words hit me the most . He yelled at me for just thinking that. We got to the point where fighting was an everyday activity for us both. What can I say? Our relationship was bittersweet. We first start of as loving each other and then our love turns to anger. I kept holding on even If he had so many things that crushed my heart I stayed. But I guess he couldn't hold on any longer.. He let go of us . He told me I deserve better than him. But I told him what's better I'd I already have the best? On that day he broke my heart . And I'm still broken. I think about time a lot. Everything I see reminds me of him . Every time I see couples I look at them and it reminds me Im single . Now he told me that I should do better but the day after our relationship e was going out with a close friend of mine. I couldn't beilieve both of them . And how they said in the past how they will never like eachother . He now flirts with every girl. He likes his other ex girlfriends status's except for mine . I just want him to know that I still think of him and at times I just want to say that you don't exist anymore but I know I'm lying to myself . It hurts you know? I don't cut . I refuse . There are just so many time I held a knife and thinking about it. Everything in life I feel is a tragic ending . But with crushes ? Remember that with a crush no matter what you will get crushed hard and deep and you will soon feel the pain of a girl crying out . Now this guy I still feel the warmth of his hugs . The specialties to his kisses. And the grip of his hand holding mine . And that's the most painful thing to think about eh. Your just trying to let go . Trying to move on . Just trying to keep distance. He calls me once in a while. Sometimes I really want to text him how I feel and telling him that he needs to tell me that he will never come back. I need to live with out him. I need to forget him, put an end to this pain. Cause this pain? Yeah ... Never once I liked feeling. This way. The real life's question is "what is love ?" you know what love is? It depends on how you treat a person. You have your own deffinition to it cause it's base in who, when, where, and why you love . For me? Love is not just in the air that we breathe in. It is all over our body . It's in our heads, it's in our stomach, it's in our eyes, ears, and lips, and it's also in our deepest heart sitting on the corner . I had a friend and she was dying in a young age. She said death was not what sadden her the most . What sadden her was she did not have that experience to have those emotions good and bad the part of being held or being let go of . We shouldn't regret the relationships we been through. Because we have that ability to gain or lose love. And other people are just wondering how it would feel like. People who's lies end before having anything. So we should have no limits and no boundaries because boundaries are just people's expectations . And limits are just time wasted. So you laying there being like "I hate life" well if you hate life so much than explore the life . Go on an amazing trip. Go camp . Do what ever you do and then .. You'll really live life . So remember that you may be broken but remember that there's a lift inside your darkness and you just got to let go clear your mind take a nap and just .. Be free to your self. And you will shine bright . Comment your story and relate to mine. If you want me to Read your stories follow me at i promise I will be here for you .


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