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      Two In One <3 by iamgaven

     


I had a boyfriend (Mark)two years ago who hurt me so badly. He had an affair with his classmate (Kiah)that time. I taught I would never move on and live another day without him cause I really loved him so much but like what other said time passes by and wound heals.



I did everything in order to forget him. I go to gym, study playing piano just to focus my self to other things.



One day a good friend (Nicole) of mine ask me to join there club and I taught that time it could also help me to move on completely so I joined, then I met a Guy (Gilbert) from that club. His very quite every time we meet with the other members so I decided to chat him, make friends with him, I also tried to called him "mahal" just to break the ice and that's when our friends started to teas us.



I'd never knew he'll take it seriously and then next thing I know is that his already asking me in front of our friends if he could court me. That time I taught it's time for me to open up my heart with someone else so I said "Yes".



After a month of courtship we became in a relationship status. I really taught that I already moved on but suddenly everything changed when my ex-boyfriend came back. He already knew I have someone else yet he didn't stop waiting and trying everything just to fix whatever mistake that he did in the past.



I tried to hold on with my new boyfriend but still I can't force my self to love him more..more than I loved my ex so i decided to broke up with him which he didn't accept. He said that he'll do anything just to make me stay and even letting me, be with my ex he'll agree with it.



Now I'm still with him (Gilbert) and seeing my ex boyfriend at the same time. This is our set up since four months and I know this is bad yet I don't know what to do. It's really hard to hurt somebodies feelings and I don't know when I should stop pretending.



I wanna be with my ex boyfriend yet I'm still afraid he'll hurt me again and if I'll try to be with my new boyfriend, I'm afraid of hurting him and lie to my self with what I truly feels.



too complicated..

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