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      A hole in my heart forever


I met my first and only true love when I was 15 years old. I new in my heart at this early age that there would never be another for me. We were together for 5 years, living together and so forth.

When I was 21 we separated and my life has been full of a private heartache ever since. I am now 33 years old and He is now 35. I have tried to go on with my life because I have not had a choice. He has lived with and separated from three women since me. I have seen him off and on through the years and recently we have been seeing each other. I have been married to another man for a year and a half now and care for him very much. I just cannot forget Randy and how deeply in love I have always been with him. He is like no other. I have begged him to give us another try but he has not agreed. I have 2 children 8 and 9 years old and I don't think he wants to raise my children. I am in constant agony, heartache and true pain each and every day. I cannot get passed my love for him. I recently told Randy that I could not continue to see him and sleep with him if we cannot be totally together and live together at least. I know in my heart he will not choose me. The pain I have felt over the last 18 years due to him is indescribable and I would not wish it on anyone. It feels like someone has died and I am in mourning over and over again. I wonder sometimes if others have been through this same situation. I hope this story helps others in pain over love.


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