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I'm so lost and scared
I share my stories here often, most of the time its because I just need to let it out...to tell someone. This time I need advice.
I am a mother of two wonderful boys. Their ages are 3 and 17 months, I am married and he's a wonderful father but we have been having problems for over a year now. The things in our marriage can be fixed but I definitely know I am finished trying...I have to get so depressed then sit my husband down and tell him and I have done this more times then I can count, only to hear him say I love you and want to work things out ( that lasts for two days then it's back to same old thing), anyway our last talk was Friday night and I told him if things don't change after this talk that I'm leaving and taking the kids. I didn't tell him but I want to leave anyway, the only reason I haven't is because I'm having a hard time finding a place to move to with my kids.
I know he can provide better for them and they will be happy because they love their dad and he's good to them. But i'm afraid if I let him take the kids then when they get older, they will hate me and i'm also afraid that when we go to court they will say I abandoned my kids or something. I love my babies and it kills me to think of letting him have full custody but I'm thinking in their better interests and I need to know if this is going to be the worst mistake of my life??
I plan on being with them every chance I get and they are more than welcome to come be with me when they want and as they get older if they want to live with me I should have a house and things to give them and would love for them to be with me. What should I do? I'm so lost and scared??? HELP!!! SOS!!!