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      Still in a daze

     



12 years ago I met and fell in love with a man 9 years my junior. Many times I tried to ask him to leave even though I loved him very much but he insisted on staying. I was afraid of his parents objection. So we became lovers without his family's knowledge. My family knew and accepted our relationship as we are of a more modern thinking people. His family is more conservative. So I waited for him to break the news to his family but somehow it never happen.


Early this year he asked for a temporary cool-off. I was devastated and I asked him if there was another woman. He told me no. Well, I believed him but 3 weeks later he was dating already. I later found out that he was actually going after that girl quite sometime ago. It really hurt to be betrayed.


I met the girl and we had a talk at McDonalds. She told me that she did not know that I was his girlfriend as he told her that I am just a very close friend and a big sister to him all these years. I was very hurt. I confronted him on this issue but he just kept quite.


It is already 6 months and I am still in a daze. We were so close. We promised each other till death do us part. Where has it all gone? How come? Whenever I think of all the promises, it makes me cry. I felt so cheated and betrayed.


I am still so confused. Part of me wants him to be happy with his life but another part of me is so sad for what he has done. He could at least tell her the truth about our relationship and not lied in order to get a chance from her.


As for the girl, she promised to help me. Well, she did help, i.e. she helped me to break-up!!! I found out that she has been sending love messages to him too. She actually has her own boyfriend whom she dated for more than 4 years. They broke off last September.


Sometimes I ask God, what happened? Why me?


I will never understand...

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