How Do You Heal a Broken Heart?
How do you heal a Broken Heart?
I can still remember the time love walk-out in my life. Grabe TKO talaga ako ‘nun! Hindi rin mapigilang hindi nalang umiyak ng umiyak . eh paano ba naman hindi ako iiyak, eh FIRST-LOVE, hehehe! Chaka talaga!
Parang bombang bigla nalang sumabog sa boung building ang balitang iyon: “Ken is getting maried” “your crush is getting married” “Sir Kenn was engaged two days ago” “your Kenn is getting married”. Shock is an understatement, for me. I even look like a crazy person ‘nung tumakbo na lang ako bigla palayo sa mga kasamahan ko and then run over the hallway to the C.R. I can’t even remember how long I have been there. My friends and co-worker were so worried for me; tanong sila ng tanong kung ano ang nangyayari sa akin. Well, obvious buh! Nasaktan akutsh! Well pasalamat nalang ako sa mga close-co-workers ko na nanatiling tahimik at pinabayaan lang ako sa pag-labas ko ng damdamin ko, they just let me, at hindi ko alam kung anung oras silang tumigil sa pagkatok at pagka-usap sa akin habang nasa labas sila ng CR, not thinking kung ma-YOU’RE FIRED sila dahil hindi na nila inatupag ang mga kanya-kanya nilang trabaho.
Meanwhile, me; inside the CR, ramdan na ramdan ko talaga ang sakit ‘nun. Can’t stop crying even my eyes were already hurt that I can’t even open them. Grabe, umiyak talaga ako ng umiyak, can’t stop it you know, I love him so much, I love him since I was a junior high-school and he was my oldest close friend. And having him married to somebody-i-don’t-even-know-girl was really a painful news to hear in my life, “then”.
It was already quarter after eight in the evening when I decided to bring myself out in the CR thinking my friends are not there already for it was already the closing time. And then just a surprised seeing them seating, lying and standing in the hallway of the CR. As when they saw me, questions flooded and advices rushes to me. “Ok ka lang, buh?” “Uuwi ka ba agad?” “Pahangin ka muna” “Date a hunker ”, “I’ll arrange date for you starting tomorrow”, “you’ll move-on”, “its okay, love hurts.” And “We’re here.” And I can’t help thanking them. Well, I Have a Lot of good “Asungot”naman pala anuh? 
Then it happens; I dates, to enjoy myself in the company of my assigned dates, going out at Saturday nights with newly-stranger friend introduced by my co-worker, go to disco, half-flirted with guys, that almost make my self a brand-new whore. Then I have flings, (sinagot ang mga matagal nang nanliligaw) but still end up with messy relationship for they says, we’re not happy, then I realize, I’m not happy, I’m enjoying it; But I am not happy at all. Then a thought crosses my mind, got to a place where you can’t saw him, but my friends said “huwag takasan ang sakit” “stay-put ka na lang”….. and I did.
After a months, mga 3 to 4 months ata ‘yon nung marecieve ko via e-mail ang invatation ng kasal ni Kenn; dahil together with the news that he is getting married was also the time he resigned. Ok! Next chapter, pumunta talaga ako; of course sa simbahan talaga, don’t worry guys, hindi pumasok ang isip ko ang itigil ang kasal (hahahah). Then I saw him, with his maybe–expensive gray tux, and a smile… he’s happy, I tought. Then I saw the bride, and oh I see, kung bakit nya mahal ang babae, ang ganda-ganda naman pala talaga. But deep inside me, I know it’s not because she is beautiful that Kenn married her, I know he loves her; everybody can see it in his eyes. He is happy. At di naman ako ganun ka martyr anu para saktan ang sarili ko nang sobra-sobra. Kaya hindi ko na tinapos ang kasal, I went out, go to my car, and drive endlessly off to the road thinking, move-on na tayo puso…
After two days saka pa lang ako nagreport sa trabaho, napatawag ako sa office, grabeh, ang haba ng pananabon sa akin, well, hindi naman ako nag-angal pa, it’s my fault, ikaw buh naman head ng technical department, at pick season pah, nag-absent, di ka ba masasabon?.... I continue living my life, seeing him sometimes after that (because he was my bestfriend gardian- cousin ) , na para bang walang nangyari, na para bang hindi aku nasaktan months ago… still go out with friends, but never made a flirtation, Buh! Pati nga ako di makapaniwala sa mga nagawa ko, ahahah. ‘yun nga! I live my life again like before and No, I never go into date. I just continue what I used to do before, work, family, sports and hanging out with friends.
I realize I don’t have to do somehting just to move-on. We don’t have to do something just to frget the person who we love the most. I mean, if he pass on your mind, let it be, hindi naman siguro maiwasan anuh nah, maisip natin sila. Hayaan mo ang sariling mong patuloy na magmahal sa kanya. Never force your self to forget him and learn to love someonelse. Because you know what it can make yourself always remembering him, you found yourself, “why am I doing this?”, or if you’re in a date, you just found yourself, comparing him/her over that person infron of you. And you begin to be unfair not just with that person but mostly in yourself; so you see, the only reason you put yerself into it is because of him.
Though you thought you’re just doing this for yourself to move-on. You also have to think that time will come that brokens are just going to be heal. So think about him everyday, every minute of even every second. Then you just know it someday that you are now get used to it. You’re used of thinking about him to the point that you realize, you’re not thinking about him anymore. You’ll see that you are now morethinking about the latest book of Twilight Saga or the Latest fashion of Hermes or, even the next game of Lakers or so what ever sports you’re into. Or better, the chick friend of you brother or the handsome professor of you’re sister you met in your family gathering. And In my case, I became addicted when I read the twilight saga.FOR SHORT… LET IT BE! PABAYAAN MO! IPAGPTULOY MO LANG ANG NARARAMDAMAN MO DAHIL KAHIT NA NUNG PA YANG GAWIN MO AY HINDI TALAGA NAWAWALA ANG PAGMAMAHAL NA NARARAMDAMAN MO NG GANOON KA DALI!
See,then you’ll realize one day, na wala na pala, na handa ka na palang magmahal ulit. Handa ka nang magbigay ng pagmamahal na mas higit pa sa naibigay mo sa taong dati mong minahal, as in wala na talaga. So see, God’s time can heal it all and you might not know God already send someone to be more worth of your pain.
I can still remember my friend’s text saying, “you don’t know, God is looking at you right now, smiling and saying : I’m saving this someone for someone special”
And I always believe “Time Heal All Wounds”….