It hurts to love you
Hi, my name s Kathy and this is my painful sad story. When I was in 8th grade I met this guy name Edgar. He looked like a completely jerk but he was cute. I like him a little but I never say anything to him. When I was in 9th grade we went to the same high school and we were together in the classes so I started to talk to him. We became really good friends we supported each other and we use play around a lot. He used to treat me like one of his buddies. At that time I like him but I just wanted to be his friend.
When we were in 10th grade we didnít talk a lot we just hi and bye to each other at the beginning of the year. The last month of the semester before going to vacations we were together in the same group. We use to talk a lot I shared all my secrets with him and he told me his. He made me smile every time I cry and he protected me all the time from harm. He told he would be there for me all the time. I started to like him even more but I didnít tell him anything and I keep it a secret even though it was hard. When school was over and summer started I start to go out with a guy that I like but didnít love. We had a good relationship until one day when Edgar texted me and told me he like me. He told he wanted to kiss me, be with me and other stuff. At that time he had a girlfriend and I said no to him. I told him that I wasnít going to cheat on my boyfriend because of him. His girlfriend read his texts and she told me to get away from him. She told me that he said that I was the one that was trying to get at him which wasnít true at all. That day I felt so mad that I told him to never talk to me again it hurt my heart because I still like him but it was the best thing to do. The time pass by and still remember what happened between me and him. I missed him but I was so mad because of what he did.
When we started 11th grade I was decided to not let him stop me from being happy. I was going to pretend I didnít know him and that he didnít exist. This didnít work because we got all the classes together and we were in the same group in all the classes. When we say each other for the first time I didnít talk to him or look at him. I pretend he wasnít there. He always sat next to me and it was so hard to ignore him. When we started to do the group work it was necessary to talk to him so I could finish the work but I still didnít talk to him. One day he talked to me to ask me a question about the work and explain to him. Since that day we started to talk more but just about that work in class. After two weeks we started to talk to each other more about how are lives were and we started to talk more and more until he became really close to me. We talk to each other a lot more than before, we joke, and play around and have fun like good friends. He apologized for things that happened and he say it was a mistake what he did. I forgave him of course. One day he came to school sad and he told me broke up with his girlfriend and that he was sad but it was better to be away from her. I try to support him and I was there all the time when he needed me. I became his best friend.
One day when we were texting he told me he liked me and I was shock at first but then I told him that I like him too. Since that day our conversations become more like flirting with each other and we started to ďlikeĒ each other more and more. He asked me one day if I was virgin and I told him I was. He asked me if I wanted to him to be my first and I say yes (Something that I should have said). He invited me to his house one day and I accepted his invitation. I went to his house and he started to talk to me romantically and then he started to hug me and kiss me and then we had sex it was amazing and that day I realized I love him. The next day I told him what I felt for him I told that he meant a lot for me and that I like him since 8th grade I though he was going to care and told me he felt the same way after what we did but he said that he needed time and he wasnít ready for a relationship but he still like me. After that day he stopped talking to me. When we were in school he ignored me and he didnít want to hang out with me anymore. I realize that all he wanted was sex with me. I feel horrible because I trusted him and he just played with me. I havenít been the same since I found out I was just another girl that he fucked. Now I feel sad and I feel like trash because of what he did. I feel use and worthless. I lost the most important thing ďmy virginity and dignityĒ with a completely jerk. Two days ago he texted me again saying if I want to have sex with him again I didnít say nothing. I want to do it with him again because I love him but Iím not sure if I should because I know this felling I have for him will get stronger and I know that he might just want me for only sex again. Please help me because Iím so confused and I donít know what to do. Comment please.