Mistakes high school to college to heart ache
It was spring and I had just turned 19 and I had just been through a rough break up with my first long term girlfriend. I was out partying getting prepared to go to college in the fall. Spending time with my friends. When I met a beautiful girl named Angie from the town an hour east. We soon where running off to spend weekends together. Camping, fishing, beaches, partys and friends. With the 2 of us starting college in the fall we where scared to loose one another we knew it was special. turns out our schools where only 3 hrs apart so we tried to make it work. We did altho I ended up dropping out after a year to move into a house with her and help her with her school. I got a job we where happier then ever. we left our hometowns for school managed to stick through 1.5 years of long distance and there we where lots of new friends with a life together we built. a couple more years passed and work became scarce. We began to fight, over money I didnt make enough and she spent too much,
While out on a guys night out in Toronto I ran into my ex from just before me and Angie. We got to talking and as the night moved on she made me feel wonderful. unlike how things where at home. I ended up spending the night with her. I couldnt take the guilt, I couldnt tell Angie what i had done. I lived with it for another year until things became really bad with me and Angie. We could still feel the love but with the guilt and hardships it was all to much I broke down and fell into a depression. she tried her best but with no work i had to move out and go home to my family. We made it work for the 3 months she was still at school. She came back we spent one weekend together and it was great. The following monday she ended it with me said I had changed and she had too. We still talked and tried to make it work but it usually ended in tears from one or both of us. We stayed apart for the summer. in my strange world of heart ache i slept with her best friend.
She returned the favor with one of her coworkers. She did find out about my cheating on her years before about the same time.
End of summer came and She was leaving for school in 3 weeks time so I went to see her. The last memory I have with her is of her sitting on her deep freeze in her garage with tears running down her innocent face telling me she wished we could go inside and find away to make it work but we had been through to much already.... after a big hug we cried and said our good byes we parted ways. I got into my truck and drove the same strech of highway Id taken years prior when we where just kids. This time with heartache at the back of my throat. I promised my self to get my act together and maybe she could forgive me. with the influence she had left in my life within a year I was now 25 with a great job making over 100k a year, new car and house. im with someone new again, a friend of hers actually. I hear through the grape vine she is happy for us. its now been almost 2 years and I never did see her again or talk to her. She finished school met a new guy and is now engaged.
For the most I try to not think of her. but when I find her on my mind Im stuck between the pain of loosing my bestfriend and the most amazing girl I ever met. I hurt from the pain I caused her and the distance that divided us. But thankful for the lessons she taught me. leaving me was honestly the greats lesson she couldve taught me.