For many years, I have been friends with Billy, we have watched each others heartache, held one another's hands through divorces, basically, we shared a wonderful solid friendship.
I knew that our closeness was destined for something more meaningful, so I wasn't surprised at our falling in love withone another.
When our time finally came, I couldn't believe my good fortune, and life finally had some purpose. I had thrown myself into something that I knew inside, only God could have created. It was a natural progression to a friendship, and nobody in our families were surprised. As a matter of fact, they too, were overjoyed. I recall even my father was thrilled, as I now "had a man who was really a man."
You know how you always hear about kids having trouble adjusting? That wasn't the case at all with us, as our kids blended perfectly. They even looked alike! Ours was the perfect family, we had even been called the Norton Brady Bunch.
Within the first year, trouble loomed over us like a big storm cloud. This cloud was in the form of his ex-girlfriend. Years before, when they were going their separate ways, she clearly stated that if she wasn't going to have him, well neither was anyone else. And if it meant that someone was going to go to jail because of it, well so be it. Pretty awful, and childish coming from a person who had done everything she could to ruin him.
Being a very understanding person that I am, and with my belief that people should remain friends after relationship failure, I told him I didn't have a problem with a simple friendship, as long as it didn't interfere with what we were doing.
Boy was that wrong! It soon turned out to be the biggest nightmare. As it turned out, she tricked him into thinking that she still loved him, and that I was stealing from him etc. After extreme fighting, and a near death to "us," he saw the light, and kept his distance from her... and this happened over and over.....
With the continued cycle, and repeating pattern, I have found myself wanting to know, when will we have a real chance to love like we both deserve to love and be loved? Each time she begins to gnaw at him, our lives are put on hold, and we can't realize the fullness and goodness of our love.
She has connived every single way, has wrecked our property, and has even gone as far as calling the children's protective services, and through anonymous phone calls, has had my three babies - who have called him "daddy" - removed from our home!
Recently, after we have been rebuilding our lives a third time, I have discovered that she is on the attack again.
I haven't got the fight in me anymore, I can't be at her mercy any longer, nor do I want to be. I wish we could just have the chance to experience what we really deserve. We need to have the chance to live with sunny skies, and not under dark storm clouds.
I am heartbroken that he is blinded and cannot see that the destruction is only a game to her, and in the end, she will have destroyed the richness and rarities that a love like ours has to offer.
Oh Lord, when will you let us have a chance?